the 4th star

As most of you know (or at least the four of you who managed to make it to WEEK TEN know), the pool is over.

Thanks to John Skelton’s magic, Michael Vick’s ribs, Juan Castillo’s inability to co-ordinate a defence, and DeSean Jackson’s refusal to have Jerry Seinfeld act as his human alarm clock, the Eagles lost to the Cardinals, thus eliminating four of the five left over here heading into the weekend action. Visual evidence of this turn of events can be found here.

Remember the email with the small print at the start of this exercise? It said ‘last man standing’ rules the day, meaning that yours truly had already laid claim to the prize thanks to timely taking of the Green Bay Packers in the Monday night blowout. No worries, though. The drubbing of the Minnesota Vikings made my win rock hard official and eliminated any chance of WTF and belly-aching from those subscribing to a faint hope clause type of loophole.

If you have a better tiebreaker system, I’m all ears. Three things:

1. Funny how the Giants played a role in all this. Team of the century.

2. Those who still are in arrears, I have contacted the Brute Force Collection Agency.

3. You will also be happy to know that I have already parlayed the kitty into the bottom line of a pair of suits from Aubrey and Co.

So that’s it for the 2011 Death by Football Suicide Pool. I’ll leave you with the final standings. See you all next year. Same bat time, same bat channel.

wazoowazny: Houston, NY Jets, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Dallas, NY Giants, Oakland, Green Bay
Hungarian Hammer: San Francisco, Detroit, Carolina, Chicago, NY Giants, NY Jets, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Philadelphia
MDB: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Dallas, San Francisco, Houston, Philadelphia
KP: Houston, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, New England, Dallas, Baltimore, Atlanta, Philadelphia
JDEW: Cleveland, Green Bay, Carolina, Tampa Bay, New Orleans, NY Jets, Dallas, NY Giants, Houston, Philadelphia
Vedder: San Francisco, Buffalo, Tennessee, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Cincinnati, Dallas, Houston, Oakland
ET: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Atlanta, NY Giants, Green Bay, Pittsburgh, New Orleans
AspenPT: Arizona, Detroit, Carolina, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Baltimore
Masterclark: New England, NY Jets, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, NY Giants, Green Bay, Baltimore
Boday: Kansas City, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Baltimore
Patty: Kansas City, NY Jets, Tennessee, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Oakland, Detroit
CHAPPER: Arizona, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Green Bay, (no selection)
Hudsy: Cleveland, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Tampa Bay, NY Giants
ZIFF: San Diego, Pittsburgh, (no selection), Green Bay, NY Giants
BS: Arizona, Atlanta, Baltimore, Buffalo, Carolina
SS: Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, NY Giants
KO: Tennessee, Pittsburgh, San Diego, New Orleans, Indianapolis
Gerardus: San Francisco, Chicago, Cincinnati, Buffalo
DKUN: Cleveland, NY Jets, New England
NCMF: Cleveland, (no selection)

<—- The selections —->

KP: Philadelphia
JDEW: Philadelphia
MDB: Philadelphia
Hungarian Hammer: Philadelphia
wazoowazny: Green Bay

We probably won’t need to discuss a tiebreaker until next week.

Well, here we are. Yep. We are here.

WEEK TEN has a lot to offer in terms of games that are impossible to pick and others that you just never know. Wow. I know where I’m going, and I’m sure one of you is also headed my direction, but as for the rest of you dudes — I have no idea what to do if I were you. Good luck with all that.

Please note the Thursday matchup between the Oakland Jerkoffs and San Diego Chargers is off the board for this little exercise. Thursday games are not included. Read the fine print. This sidebar for this little sidecar of a warning: Can’t imagine anyone would want to take this game, anyway. The over(throw)/under(throw) on interceptions is set at the distance in miles between the two cities. Five hundred sounds about right.

I’ve had this lovely redhead up before. I’ll try to find you a name.

Picks in before noon Sunday. Go team!

WEEK TEN
Thursday
Oakland at San Diego
Sunday
New Orleans at Atlanta
Detroit at Chicago
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
St. Louis at Cleveland
Buffalo at Dallas
Jacksonville at Indianapolis
Denver at Kansas City
Washington at Miami
Arizona at Philadelphia
Houston at Tampa Bay
Tennessee at Carolina
Baltimore at Seattle
NY Giants at San Francisco
New England at NY Jets
Monday
Minnesota at Green Bay

Under normal circumstances, I’d be really ticked off about blowing my mulligan on a scenario where one shitty quarterback gets outplayed by an even shittier quarterback, but not tonight. Thanks to that wicked awesome NYG win over Les Patriots, falling back to even money with the rest of the pack is of little concern. Priorities, people.

Sorry to see Vedder bow out. His songwriting and hollow concern for the price of tickets will be missed. Not lost in his loss is the fact that WEEK TEN is coming up. Vedder. Ten. It’s evolution, baby.

Oh well. Here’s where we’re at. Five left to play. New schedule coming up later this week. Prolly Tuesday.

Hungarian Hammer: San Francisco, Detroit, Carolina, Chicago, NY Giants, NY Jets, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta
MDB: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Dallas, San Francisco, Houston
wazoowazny: Houston, NY Jets, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Dallas, NY Giants, Oakland
KP: Houston, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, New England, Dallas, Baltimore, Atlanta
JDEW: Cleveland, Green Bay, Carolina, Tampa Bay, New Orleans, NY Jets, Dallas, NY Giants, Houston
Vedder: San Francisco, Buffalo, Tennessee, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Cincinnati, Dallas, Houston, Oakland
ET: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Atlanta, NY Giants, Green Bay, Pittsburgh, New Orleans
AspenPT: Arizona, Detroit, Carolina, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Baltimore
Masterclark: New England, NY Jets, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, NY Giants, Green Bay, Baltimore
Boday: Kansas City, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Baltimore
Patty: Kansas City, NY Jets, Tennessee, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Oakland, Detroit
CHAPPER: Arizona, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Green Bay, (no selection)
Hudsy: Cleveland, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Tampa Bay, NY Giants
ZIFF: San Diego, Pittsburgh, (no selection), Green Bay, NY Giants
BS: Arizona, Atlanta, Baltimore, Buffalo, Carolina
SS: Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, NY Giants
KO: Tennessee, Pittsburgh, San Diego, New Orleans, Indianapolis
Gerardus: San Francisco, Chicago, Cincinnati, Buffalo
DKUN: Cleveland, NY Jets, New England
NCMF: Cleveland, (no selection)

Hey guys!

Here are our selections for this afternoon’s games. No real surprises; all have an excellent chance to win. Unless, of course, the Colts step up and grab their first win of the season or if Carson Palmer plays worse than Tim Tebow. Or maybe Colt McCoy will light it up in his great home state of Texas. I don’t actually know if McCoy is from Texas but with a name like Colt I’m going to make the leap without worry.

Gosh, that looks nice, eh?

Doubles fun club today!

Find your partner, grab his hand, and ready each other for the on-coming snow later this evening.

Hungarian Hammer: Atlanta
MDB: Houston
KP: Atlanta
Vedder: Oakland
wazoowazny: Oakland
JDEW: Houston

*cough cough*

So I’ve been deathly sick. Maybe that’s an exaggeration. I’m ill, constantly fighting off the urge to curl up into a little ball and gently rock myself to sleep. I’m in the fetal position and I’ve tried to stay in bed whenever possible and in between work commitments. You’d be surprised how uncreative and unimaginative one can be when constantly blowing one’s nose. No doubt that has shown itself to be the case in the paper. God, I’m such a hack. This flu can leave my body at any time. Seriously.

WEEK EIGHT is in the books. One more dead soldier. If memory serves, ET got killed off last season via the Saints. Another lesson learned from Katrina: That’s what we’ll chalk it up to. It’s not every day you see someone get bounced out with two losses to two division leaders, is it? Poor guy. That’s bad luck.

If you thought WEEK EIGHT was tough, wait until you see WEEK NINE. That list will pop up on this site sometime Wednesday, but feel free to look ahead on your own time. Idle hands, people.

Have we all taken the Giants now? Phew.

*cough cough*

wazoowazny: Houston, NY Jets, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Dallas, NY Giants
Hungarian Hammer: San Francisco, Detroit, Carolina, Chicago, NY Giants, NY Jets, Dallas, Houston
Vedder: San Francisco, Buffalo, Tennessee, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Cincinnati, Dallas, Houston
MDB: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Dallas, San Francisco
KP: Houston, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, New England, Dallas, Baltimore
JDEW: Cleveland, Green Bay, Carolina, Tampa Bay, New Orleans, NY Jets, Dallas, NY Giants
ET: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Atlanta, NY Giants, Green Bay, Pittsburgh, New Orleans
AspenPT: Arizona, Detroit, Carolina, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Baltimore
Masterclark: New England, NY Jets, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, NY Giants, Green Bay, Baltimore
Boday: Kansas City, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Baltimore
Patty: Kansas City, NY Jets, Tennessee, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Oakland, Detroit
CHAPPER: Arizona, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Green Bay, (no selection)
Hudsy: Cleveland, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Tampa Bay, NY Giants
ZIFF: San Diego, Pittsburgh, (no selection), Green Bay, NY Giants
BS: Arizona, Atlanta, Baltimore, Buffalo, Carolina
SS: Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, NY Giants
KO: Tennessee, Pittsburgh, San Diego, New Orleans, Indianapolis
Gerardus: San Francisco, Chicago, Cincinnati, Buffalo
DKUN: Cleveland, NY Jets, New England
NCMF: Cleveland, (no selection)

Congratulations, everyone. You’ve been short-listed. Observe the WEEK EIGHT selections and adjust your cheer accordingly. I’d like to see one game where two people take the different teams. That would be something. A true live or die scenario. I’d also like to see a cat dressed up as Raggedy Ann. Oh, so cute.

Hungarian Hammer: Houston
MDB: San Francisco
ET: New Orleans
KP: Baltimore
Vedder: Houston
wazoowazny: NY Giants
JDEW: NY Giants

Twenty people started this thing and 13 players are done after just seven weeks. Before we started, I had a feeling that this would be one of those pools that could go right down to the wire, with some crafty WEEK SIXTEEN or WEEK SEVENTEEN maneuvering from the remaining players to get them over the top. This will not be the case. At this rate, we’ll be lucky to see this through to December.

The girl above? She’s not laughing at you. She’s just excited for the change of season.

Down to business. Frankly, I only see three, maybe four, quality plays on the WEEK EIGHT list of games. Once again, please note the following clubs — Atlanta, Chicago, Green Bay, Oakland, NY Jets, and Tampa Bay — are not playing this weekend. By all means take them if they tickle your fancy but know there will be grave consequences if you do. As always, selections in before noon Sunday. The Ravens sure look like a good bet this week…

WEEK EIGHT
Sunday
Indianapolis at Tennessee
New Orleans at St. Louis
Miami at NY Giants
Minnesota at Carolina
Arizona at Baltimore
Jacksonville at Houston
Washington at Buffalo
Detroit at Denver
New England at Pittsburgh
Cleveland at San Francisco
Cincinnati at Seattle
Dallas at Philadelphia
Monday
San Diego at Kansas City

As mentioned Sunday, one person didn’t get a pick in so he’s done like yesterday’s dinner. Too bad. He was building a good mix of top teams and crafty, well-timed selections until that point. Those Giants did him in. Welcome to my world.

But CHAPPER is not alone in this eulogy. Patty is also out, having jumped on the Detroit bandwagon two weeks too late. That he even made it this far was impressive, though. Clearly, he was banking on making it to November, where he would still have clubs like New England, New Orleans, Baltimore, and Houston still in the bag. Unfortunately, for him, he’s out of balls and is forced to leave the course via the 8th tee box. Then there are those — AspenPT, Masterclark, and Boday — who went with the Ravens. Oh, boy. I’m so sorry. Josh Scooby-Doo did it, didn’t he? Dammit. Doh!

Delightful.

Chin up, you fabulous five. Seven weeks is pretty good. Nothing to be upset about.

Here’s the big list. Which isn’t so big anymore. WEEK EIGHT up Hump Day.

wazoowazny: Houston, NY Jets, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Dallas
Hungarian Hammer: San Francisco, Detroit, Carolina, Chicago, NY Giants, NY Jets, Dallas
Vedder: San Francisco, Buffalo, Tennessee, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Cincinnati, Dallas
ET: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Atlanta, NY Giants, Green Bay, Pittsburgh
MDB: Arizona, NY Jets, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Dallas
KP: Houston, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Green Bay, NY Giants, New England, Dallas
JDEW: Cleveland, Green Bay, Carolina, Tampa Bay, New Orleans, NY Jets, Dallas
AspenPT: Arizona, Detroit, Carolina, Green Bay, NY Giants, Pittsburgh, Baltimore
Masterclark: New England, NY Jets, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, NY Giants, Green Bay, Baltimore
Boday: Kansas City, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Baltimore
Patty: Kansas City, NY Jets, Tennessee, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Oakland, Detroit
CHAPPER: Arizona, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, NY Giants, Green Bay, (no selection)
Hudsy: Cleveland, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Tampa Bay, NY Giants
ZIFF: San Diego, Pittsburgh, (no selection), Green Bay, NY Giants
BS: Arizona, Atlanta, Baltimore, Buffalo, Carolina
SS: Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, NY Giants
KO: Tennessee, Pittsburgh, San Diego, New Orleans, Indianapolis
Gerardus: San Francisco, Chicago, Cincinnati, Buffalo
DKUN: Cleveland, NY Jets, New England
NCMF: Cleveland, (no selection)

Here are your WEEK SEVEN particulars. The games have just started and already someone is out. More on that below. Those you went with Baltimore are no doubt rooting for Tony Romo to treat this like any other game he’s supposed to win, while those Cowboy lovers anticipating a Ravens loss are hoping the Jaguars can at least keep it a game until the fourth quarter. If Jacksonville wins I might buy the car Monday! As for those who went with other clubs (all two of you), this could be a big week for you. Emphasis on ‘could’ and ‘week’ — though I might go with an alternate spelling on that last one.

Hungarian Hammer: Dallas
MDB: Dallas
ET: Pittsburgh
CHAPPER: (no selection)*
Masterclark: Baltimore
KP: Dallas
Vedder: Dallas
wazoowazny: Dallas
JDEW: Dallas
AspenPT: Baltimore
Patty: Detroit
Boday: Baltimore

*two strikes, out