the 4th star

For those looking to grow the Christmas gift money they had put aside for…um, Christmas, this is the place. What better way to see that small lump of cash grow? Good-bye HMV gift card, hello diamond ring. I know you love salad but hate making it — get over yourself. Think about how much love you’re going to get from the significant other once she learns of your financial windfall came about. Well honey, I was looking at this stupid blog about nothing when I decided that I was going to flush my money down the drain. But the bathroom is all the way upstairs. So I figured I would take the waging advice of an idiot, instead. That’s right, honey. I won the money gambling. No, I won. WHAT! Why are you mad? What did I do? WHAT THE EFF!!!

/prepares couch for sleeping

Why would you tell her where the money came from? Way to go, genius. Before we look at the best and most tragic way to lose some cash this weekend, a gambling note: If you’ve been paying any attention to the line in the New York Giants-Philadelphia Eagles game this week, you’ve noticed a huge switch in the line on a few books. The Giants opened as one point favourites, but are now 1.5-point underdogs. What this means is that a lot of people like the Eagles in this game. And why wouldn’t they? Philadelphia is a good team.

/sarcasm meter finds traces of sarcasm

On to the picks:

San Diego at Dallas
Chargers plus 3.5
I don’t know one person who likes the Cowboys in this game. Jerry Jones doesn’t even like the Cowboys in this game. Hot chicks in cowboy hats who work at Cowboys don’t like the Cowboys in this game. Mamas who let their children grow up to be cowboys don’t even like the Cowboys in this game. Real cowboys don’t the like the Cowboys here, either.

On second thought…

Green Bay at Chicago
Bears straight up the wazoo
How is this possible? How are the Bears only four point dogs? What’s that? Chicago has just three wins in their last 15 games against Green Bay at Soldier Field. Oh. Wait! How is that possible? I have two thoughts on trends. Not only do they tell us the direction things are headed, but they also have to stop. Eventually. Another stat: The Bears are 7-2 straight up in their last nine at home. Les Bears.

Cincinnati at Minnesota
Bengals plus 6.5
I’m tempted to take the Stripes straight up here but I’m too much of a suck to do it. Besides, I’m already going to lose on the Bears game that way. As far as I can read, there’s only one storyline that involves the Vikings: Stop the run and let Favre give you the game with picks and forced balls. If the Bengals can come out and do that early, it could be a long day for that old bastard.

And now it’s time for the 4th Star’s straight up selection (made with a straight face and a lot of stupidity). This week’s game features the confusing Denver Broncos at the undefeated Indianapolis Colts. Should be a doozy of a game.

What team are the horseshoes, she asks?

Broncos it is!

Last.
Of.
The.
Hot.
Live.
Guys.
December.
Twenty.
Third.
Royal.
Albert.
>>>>>>>>>>> LINK <<<<<<<<<<<

(pic credit)