the 4th star

The thinking, and more than one person has come to this relatively easy conclusion, is that Toronto Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke cannot fire head coach Ron Wilson right now, due to the fact that the two are linked together for the U.S. Olympic team. It wouldn’t really make for a comfortable (or productive) arrangement in the days leading up to Vancouver, having the guy you just axed running the team you just put together. The standard line is that Wilson is safe for now; his job security not in danger due to the American ties of both men.

In his ‘What are the Leaf options’ piece today, Damien Cox touches on the subject of this duel-duty:

Perception is everything in politics and sports, and in this case, there is a growing perception that Wilson would be safe even if the Leafs had zero victories because he has already by tabbed by Burke to coach the American Olympic team in February. Leaf fans will take a lot. They’ve proven that over four decades. But keeping a coach in place so he can coach a U.S. team in the Olympics? That won’t fly, even if it’s not the reason Burke has indicated Wilson is safe.

If Wilson’s job is indeed safe, then what about the players? Guys like Jason Blake and Lee Stempniak will certainly ‘waive’ bye-bye over the next week or so, but what do you do then? If you saw the AHL Marlies play in Winnipeg last weekend, you didn’t see too much immediate help for the parent club. Along those lines, it’s hard not to agree with what David Shoalts says in The Globe:

While it is easy enough to finger a few veterans, especially among the forwards, for demotion, the promotions need some thought. What good would it do to promote rookies like (Tyler) Bozak and (Christian) Hanson into the disheartened atmosphere around the Leafs, especially when those youngsters are not exactly tearing up the American Hockey League?

As they take on the Washington Capitals as I type this, the Maple Leafs have just three wins out of 20 games this season. If there ever was a front-runner for a coaching change at this point, Toronto would win hands down. They’re not a very good team, and with the whispers getting louder that the players have tuned out Wilson’s instruction, the season is well on that slippery slope of losing and frustration. Fans are even starting to stay away — so you know there’s a problem. As Cox writes, unless the club does uncharacteristically well in the next ten contests, there seems to be little choice but to let Wilson go. The problem for Burke, though, is who do you hand the clipboard over to? The list of potential coaches provided in The Star — Gretzky, Laviolette, Keenan, Nolan, MacTavish — is less than inspiring.

Much like the play at the Air Canada Centre this season.

I’m afraid I have to come out of the closet here.

No, no, you silly goose. That’s not what I meant. Interesting your mind went there, though. No, what I’m talking about is the sport of the football. Those burly, sweaty men with their big muscles and tight silk pants slapping and hitting each other on manicured fields of grass, all in the name of skinning a pig and putting it in their opponent’s end. Why is every one named ‘back?’ Quarterback, running-back, cornerback, full back, halfback, tailback — I’ve been looking at the backs of these guys all week but I don’t understand the connection. Or maybe I’ll understand more than you’ll never know. I just blew blue your mind, didn’t I? Tight end. Now there’s a meaty, leading man part I could really sink my teeth into.

It seems people like to bet on the football in Vegas, which is weird because I thought they only had big stage shows there. A wicked little she-devil, this City of Angels. (narrator Ron Howard: it’s called Sin City) I don’t buy this wagering, but I am curious — is that why there are so many men in Vegas? I thought they were just there to see Cirque and the fairest of ladies, Celine Dion. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (narrator Ron Howard: he’s thinking of Lady Marmalade)

So I don’t know much about this ball, but I will channel my inner jockeys and put forth some wagers for this slate of matches on Sunday. I think I’m going to go straight this time. (narrator Ron Howard: he means straight up). Yeah, straight it is. A big money shot would certainly put a smile on my face.

Cincinnati at Oakland
Raiders +350

Philadelphia at Chicago
Bears +145

British Columbia at Montreal
Lions +375

Ed note: Based on Tobias’ ridiculous choices, his $30 ticket could profit him $87 at the end of the day. I’m not saying I would follow this path if I were you, but wouldn’t it be a real kick in the never nude cut-offs (or a sausage in the mouth) if he collected on these and you didn’t?

This is confusing. I don’t know why she likes Shean Donovan (above, not wearing the pink button down) but she does. At least she says she does. It’s hard to swallow, as I’m not sure calling him a “toothless wonder” is a term of endearment. It doesn’t seem sincere. You have to feel for Shean. No teeth (according to this female source), and now it looks like he’s gonna be out for a while with a knee injury. He’s a fighter, though. Pour some out for the Man Sandwich today.

For links to sexier men, try this and this. No worries.