the 4th star

Meant to get this up Thursday night. Rushdie prevailed. Anyway, here’s the quote in the story to kick things off here. I’m going to start talking like this guy, I think.

“When we acquired the rights to the Olympic Games, it came with a unique opportunity to participate in the Olympic torch relay,” said Rick Brace, president of Revenue, Business Planning and Sports at CTV Inc. said in a statement. “Our No. 1 priority was to have CTV staff from across the country take part. By having CTV staff involved from news, sports and entertainment, we are ensuring maximum exposure for the relay on the various CTV networks and platforms.”

Here’s the problem:

Reporters and on-air personalities who hang out by the cafeteria in journalism school are going to be a part of the Olympic torch run, using their weight to edge out average Canadians and athletes as the flame makes it’s way across this country in the coming months. CTV’s Brian Williams and Sandie Rinaldo, along with TSN’s Michael Landsberg and James Duthie are going to be a part of it. There’s Jennifer Hedger, too. And Dave Randorf. Here’s the best one: Stephen Brunt of The Globe and Mail is (once again) going to make himself a part of the story.

Here’s the reaction from Alison Korn — a former athlete turned columnist (her story above) who didn’t get picked, and William Houston — who made his name working for the Globe as the media writer, and has taken his takes to the blog. First Korn:

Obvious question: By cozying up to RBC and the Olympic torch relay, how likely are these media to scrutinize RBC or other Olympic sponsors, or probe any unsavory Olympic issues that may be in the public interest? Not very, I believe.

Interesting. And now Houston:

Nevertheless, over the next few months, off they’ll go, boosting the International Olympic Committee and VANOC as they prance across the country, torch in hand.

…This is an embarrassment for CTV and especially The Globe and Mail. The participants should be ashamed of themselves, but obviously they’re not and don’t get it. If they had, they would not have accepted the assignment.

Rock and roll. Check.
Tight pants. Check it out.
Man Sandwich. Delicious.
(happy birthday)

Montreal Alouettes (13-2) vs. Winnipeg Blue Bombers (6-9)
The House that Rick House Built
Saturday, 1:30pm

1. Will Winnipeg’s preparation suffer thanks to the Tony Calvillo question mark?
Nope. It’s doubtful the Alouettes are playing some game by not announcing who they’re going with. The situation for the Blue Bombers in terms of prep-time has them scheming for both A.C. and back-up Adrian McPherson. It’s pretty simple: Montreal has nothing to play for so even if there wasn’t a calf injury in play, Calvillo would probably only see a half of action anyway. Either way, it’s twice as much work for the Bombers, who will need to plan against two different QB styles. It’s never easy over there, is it?

2. Can Damon Allen Michael Bishop play his way to the bench?
No kidding. After watching him struggle last week, you have to wonder what this guy will have to do to get yanked. I wonder, and this is just a theory, if head coach Mike Kelly is scared that if he goes to the bullpen the home crowd will see first-hand the QB stable he’s assembled? Forget about the Bombers record — that fact is Exhibit A against what Kelly and the organization set out to do this year. Where have I heard this before? It would be easier to go to the bench on the road. Less pressure. I can’t see anyone but Bishop taking the snaps tomorrow. Kelly might have a little Rick Forney in him — leaving a guy in one play too late — only in Kelly’s case, he may have no better option.

3. How about a Troy Westwood prediction?
Sure. Twenty-seven punts for a 40.8 yard average. Five shanks. One ponytail. All kidding aside, I have been very impressed with the way Westwood has handled himself in the media this week. Thoughtful and  intelligent comments about his legacy with the club and what it means for him to come back. In need of a punter or not, I still think it’s a public relations stunt by the club, but Westwood has been quite good. Very humble in all this. I wonder if he had to apologize to the organization for his rip-jobs last year?

A show of hands — football fans, are you out there? Does anyone care anymore, or has this city (and province) completely tuned their team out? What happened? When did it get to be such a struggle to bring people into Canad Inns Stadium? Is everyone thinking Dec. 2, 2008 or is it just me? According to Eazy-E, here are the reasons for the poor attendance at Winnipeg Blue Bombers games this season:

1. Outspoken head coach Mike Kelly has rubbed folks the wrong way;
2. The media’s coverage of the team has been predominantly negative all season;
3. The team has undergone such a massive turnover in personnel the casual fan has lost touch;
4. Only three games were played at Canad Inns Stadium all summer;
5. The economy has hit some fans hard, limiting their disposable income;
6. The amenities at the old ball yard really suck;
7. The team is 6-9 and just six weeks ago was blown out at home 55-10 in front of a capacity crowd.

Not sure if that list is set in order of most likely to least likely having an impact on why people are staying away. As I have mentioned several times on this thing (so many times that I’m not even going to provide links here), I’m a firm believer in reason No. 1 and reason No. 7 working together in unison pushing the faithful away. And let’s face it: Kelly is no genius when it comes to handling himself with the microphone. He can spew cliche after cliche about ‘hard work’ and ‘having a good group of guys who believe in what they’re doing’ all he wants. This is his baby, and no matter how many times the club tries to position him is a favourable light, he drops the ball, throwing fuel on the fire by calling out the fan’s loyalty. Again. His quote in Tait’s story says it all:

“Probably we haven’t played very well. Probably some people were upset about, maybe, my honesty. But the ones that come have been fantastic… The ones that come we embrace and we hope that the people that haven’t shown up understand that it’s their team, it’s our team and come on out here and support these guys. They can form any opinion they want, but the bottom line is: are they a Bomber fan or not?”

Probably? Amazing. Still biting ankles, too. And we’re nearly 16 games into the season.

The reality of the situation: Kelly blew into town after being hand-picked by his buddy Lyle Bauer and promised the moon right away. He took classless shots at the former regime. He made drastic changes and huge personnel errors (letting Kevin Glenn go for nothing) before and during training camp, insulting fans when the heat came after a slow start, and obviously couldn’t deliver on the promises. The club then removed accountability from the coach’s show when they put up a fence between Kelly and the fan. Didn’t they actually put up a fence at the stadium, too?

Kelly’s abrasive style and lack of follow through stained the Bomber brand, turning off both the casual and longtime fan. Forget about driving away fans; the organization  has managed to take alienation to a whole other level. Things are so bad now with the Bomber brand that people are attacking one another — ‘real fans’ calling out those ‘fairweather fans’ who question the direction of the team on the field and the organization as a whole. Like being objective or thinking you deserve better somehow makes you less of a fan than the guy you’re sitting beside at the bar. You have groups of people — all very interested and extremely passionate about the Bombers — calling each other names. I’m a better fan that you are! Check out the message boards or even the comments at the end of the newspaper stories. It’s vicious out there thanks to Kelly and his polarizing effect. People are eating their young. Now the club is left scrambling, wondering what they can do to bring the population — the majority who have no faith in Kelly or Bauer after the duo couldn’t back up the bravado — to the stadium again.

And the real bottom line: The Bombers have a major sell-job on their hands this winter and if people around the club are correct in their assertion that these are, in fact, drastic times for the organization, will drastic measures follow?

—–

UPDATE: Just got an email saying that ticket prices have been raised for tomorrow’s contest with Montreal. The person said his ticket is usually $14.75 plus taxes and fees. When he looked at his receipt for Saturday’s game, he noticed it was $16.75 plus additionals. A quick check on the Ticketmaster site shows the ticket listed at $14.75 but when you click the drop down menu to start the purchase procedure, it comes up as a $16.75 base ticket price. The $2 increase is right across the board.

Buzzcocks. Buzz — what?

Not one joke about it being like a sauna in here? No yarn about being mistaken for Sal Bass?

What the hell, Salman Rushdie?

Rushdie was in town tonight, speaking about life and love and books that half the audience pretended to read or couldn’t understand. Guilty as charged. I’ve seen movie adaptations of them, though — does that count? Surprisingly, the lecture was interesting from beginning to end and did not feature one reference to the Winnipeg Jets. You know what I’m talking about, right? Every single time I go to something like this — whether it be a speaker or a band or whatever — the person on stage with the microphone feels obligated to be completely obvious and mention the hockey team that once played here. Thanks for bringing that up, jerk. Maybe you can mention my grandfather next. Here’s no longer here, either. Seriously, why do people do this? Cheap admiration? A veiled shot at our smalltown-ness? Or maybe they think their mention of memory lane connects the crowd with their delicate genius, putting all of us at the same level. Hey, I don’t want to be on the same level with a guy I paid $40 to hear speak or play music. I wouldn’t pay to hear my friends do that. Not 40 bones anyway.

Sidetrack end. As I was about to expand on, Rushdie was quite good. While he didn’t mention his ex-wife, ‘Rush’ managed to run the gamut of topics, from Khomeini and the fatwa to Charlie Brown as a Greek tragedy to Dan Brown to role of historical novelists in a world obsessed with immediate, watered-down news. Makes me want to read The Satanic Verses again. Or at least attempt to again.

The best part of the night? No one shot him in the chest or bombed the theatre. There was a reason we sat in the back.

Umm. It’s probably a bad sign — or maybe that’s a much-needed sign — when you open your account and read that there’s an important message to you. Said message is as follows:

Hi Wazoo

(We) are supporting Industry Responsible Gambling Awareness Day.  For the vast majority gambling is a safe, harmless entertainment and leisure activity.  (We) want all our customers to gamble responsibly and we provide customers with a range of options to help in this regard.   Full details of these can be found in the Responsible Gambling link in the Services section on the left hand side of our home page.   Alternatively, customers can contact us and one of our team will be pleased to explain the options available.

Kind regards, (people who take your money)

Great. Even the Internet is noticing how bad I am at picking games. Hopefully this doesn’t get back to my mother. She won’t be impressed. No matter, though. I will forge ahead and vanquish the doubters. In true Dr. Z form (God, I miss reading Zimmerman’s stuff — so crotchety, so Jerricho Cotchery!) I will not be deterred by all this negativity. It only makes me stronger. Let’s take a look at where the Sunday frustration will come from. I’m dubbing this edition ‘Betting on Useless Teams I Fuckin’ Can’t Stand Week.’ Let’s see what looks good…

Green Bay at Cleveland
Browns plus-9
It’s Mangini Time! Am I really picking the Browns? Jesus. Maybe something will happen in Cleveland and they’ll have to take this game off the board. Like, wipe it right off the schedule. Only a natural disaster can save this selection. Maybe I should re-read the above letter again. Industry Responsible Gambling Awareness Day, eh? Looks like I’m clear. Taking the Browns is clearly irresponsible.

Atlanta at Dallas
Falcons plus-4
What this line tells me is that Vegas thinks the Cowboys are pretty good. Where they’re getting that from is anyone’s guess. I hate to say this, as my unsubstantiated Atlanta hate nearly rivals that of Dallas and Philadelphia, but the Falcons looked pretty solid to me Sunday night. They were like a cat and the Bears were like a string. This one seems to obvious to me. Uh-oh.

Minnesota at Pittsburgh
Vikings plus 5.5
Here’s how I see this game playing out. The Steelers up by seven with just a minute left to play. Brett Favre, he of the three interception afternoon looks tired. He may be hurt, but don’t you worry your pretty little head about ‘ol Brett. He’s a gun slinger. They were born hurt. The future liability marches the ball down against the soft Steelers secondary, getting the Purple to the 25-yard line. But there’s only seconds left. As I scream at my TV for them to kick the field goal and cover the spread, Favre blows a tire on the wheelchair and fumbles the ball trying to create just a few more seconds. A Pittsburgh defender picks it up and runs it back for a TD with no time left. A pick-up-six. Spread cover denied. Blood pressure levels ozone. Rum bottle hollow.

Due to popular demand, the hard-working and incredibly handsome officials at the 4th Star are re-setting the 2009 4th Star Suicide Pool standings and giving everyone a chance to participate once again. Why succumb to the wishes of a public who really doesn’t care anyway? Content? Nah, it’s called having more fun, people. Get used to it.

There was some debate as to how to fire it up again: Do we allow people the full complement of 31 teams after six weeks? What about those who made it deeper than others — do they get to pick a team they already picked? Why would anyone care to participate in this when there is no entry fee, nothing on the line, and probably no prize at the end?

This is what we’re going to do: Rather than penalize those for making it past Week Three, we’ll just take some of the better teams out of play. This way, people will have a chance to show how smart they think they are, without the crutch of having the elite teams to draw from. So, if you wish to risk your NFL football knowledge life (however pitiful it may be), then please take note of the following:

The four unbeaten teams are not allowed to be chosen. That means you cannot pick the New Orleans Saints, the Minnesota Vikings, the Indianapolis Colts, and the Denver Broncos. They are off limits. DO NOT PICK THOSE CLUBS OR YOU WILL BE MOCKED UNTIL MY THROAT IS SORE! Everyone got that? Good.

The 4th Star Suicide Pool: Zombie Edition is now underway. Scary stuff. Everyone is eligible (including you, ruther). Let’s have your picks in the comments. I’m taking New England. Your turn, suckers.

First things first.

Screw you, Mark Sanchez. I knew you and your New York Jets were impostors. Let me paint a picture: I was having sushi with the usual suspects when Suck-chez was throwing interception after interception to the lessor Buffalo Bills. Checking the scores between the endless parade of one-liners and conversation topics, I notice the New Yorkers taking the Bills into overtime. Right about the time I finish my boiled spinach with sesame flavour, I get this uneasy feeling. Uh-oh. Better check the score again. Bills 16, Jets 13. Final. Rather than go with the sick feeling of not being hungry anymore, I ate more than I should and felt awful the rest of the night. I was out of the 2009 4th Star Suicide Pool, having made it to the final two (thanks to the Raiders earlier in the day). Close but no cigar. The Jets are jerks.

With the ouster of two, congrats go out to the man they call ‘Ruther.’ His astute choice of taking the Falcons — I think he picked it on the basis of the balloon boy with the same name — came through Sunday night. Atlanta toyed with the Chicago Bears all night, and despite my Toth-like blind faith that the Bears had it in them to push the suicide pool to a three-way tie, they folded like Matt Forte in traffic. Double jerk.

Ruther wins. Prize pending.