the 4th star

With the National Hockey League schedule about 10 or so games in, the Toronto Maple Leafs finally winning a game, and the Flyers Simon Gagne injured again (it’s more news-worthy when he’s OFF injured reserve), it seems as good a time as any to take a look at who would wear the Maple Leaf if the Canadian Olympic team was selected tonight. Rather than weigh those silly intangibles like “leadership” and “experience” or “grit” and being a “good Canadian kid” in the evaluation process, why not take a look at what the team would look like (and what it wouldn’t look like) if we went solely by the numbers?

After all, if the boys picking the team are true to their word, whoever’s going good right now will certainly be considered when it’s time to lower the guillotine or it’s time to take that call from the governor. Let’s start with the forwards first, and do the defencemen and goaltenders as the week moves on. Could do them all at once, but I’m suffering from blog-writer’s block these days and I want to spread this out over the next couple days.

The Forwards

How do you pick forwards? Well, most of them are built to put up points so let’s look at those first. At the end, tie-breakers will be determined by physical make-up, plus-minus, penalty minutes, and jersey number. Just joking. There will be no tie-breakers. All points and other stats heading into Tuesday night’s action.

Joe Thornton — 17 points in 12 games
Why he’s on the team: The guy can score. The guy can pass. He should be really good in the exhibition games and matches against the third-world hockey countries. Seriously. The guy can’t be that dense to understand that he needs to be lights-out the first two months of the season to have a chance, right? Thanks for coming out: Yzerman saw him play in the post season last year. Or rather, didn’t see him play in the post season last year. Darkhorse factor: Chemistry with other Sharks that will be on the club helps his position.

Patrick Marleau — 16 points in 12 games
Why he’s on the team: See Thornton. Thanks for coming out: Yzerman thought they were the same player. Darkhorse factor: Misery loves company. The Sharks’ top players play well in October.

Rick Nash — 15 points in 10 games
Why he’s on the team: Pure goal scorer. World class release. Big body in front of the net, plus playing under Ken Hitchcock, he’s figured out what the term ‘defence’ means. Thanks for coming out: It would take a massive collapse. Or a season-ending injury. Darkhorse factor: Longtime Hockey Canada employee.

Dustin Penner — 15 points in 11 games
Why he’s on the team: What? Dustin Penner is on the team? Oh God, I thought this was real for a second. Penner falls under the category of ‘intrigue.’ If he can keep his level of play up, he’ll have a legitimate shot to find Vancouver. He has Kevin Lowe and Steve Tambellini working for him, too. That’s all a big maybe, though. Now that everyone’s taking notice of his strong play, expect him to be in Pat Quinn’s doghouse by the weekend. Thanks for coming out: Where do you put him? He’s not going to replace scorers on the top two lines, and his defensive play has never been his calling card. He is plus-8, though. Hmmmm. Darkhorse factor: Lowe, more Herbal Magic.

Dany Heatley — 15 points in 12 games
Why he’s on the team: Goal scorer. One look killer. Question his character all you want, the guy can snipe. Thanks for coming out: He requested a trade to the Americans during the Yzerman call. Darkhorse factor: Canadian redemption tour continues.

Ryan Smyth — 15 points in 12 games
Why he’s on the team: Playing really well. Loads of international experience. Plus he’s the only player in my hockey draft that doing anything this season. HE’S ON! Thanks for coming out: Gets into an argument with Hockey Canada bosses about the pronunciation of his name. Plus he wouldn’t shave his sideburns. Darkhorse factor: Yzerman still owes him for grabbing the bill on those hookers in Salt Lake.

Rene Bourque — 14 points in 10 games
Why he’s on the team: Switched jersey numbers with Iginla but they forgot to register it with the league or tell the equipment guys. Thanks for coming out: No, seriously. Thanks for coming out (why won’t this guy leave?). Darkhorse factor: The name Bourque has a history with Team Canada. Plus they’ll need a few French dudes.

Brad Richards — 13 points in nine games
Why he’s on the team: Solid performer all the way through, despite the fact he can’t skate. Another plus involves his long history of defeating the naysayers. Thanks for coming out: The naysayers are picking the team. Darkhorse factor: People love Prince Edward Island.

Martin St. Louis — 13 points in nine games
Why he’s on the team: A tried and true Team Canada favourite. Thanks for coming out: His small stature may not be ideal in big games. Hey, people figured out Cliff Ronning after a few seasons. Expect for the Jets — they had no answer! Darkhorse factor: Promises to text Lecavalier between periods.

Mike Cammalleri — 12 points in 11 games
Why he’s on the team: He can skate a little, he can shoot it a little. Thanks for coming out: No problem, I just appreciated the opportunity and the consideration. Darkhorse factor: People are starting to realize he’s not Alex Tanguay. Trust me, that’s something.

James Neal — 12 points in 11 games
Why he’s on the team: Remember when he played a couple games for the Moose! Yeah! Local connection! Thanks for coming out: We don’t really have any openings right now, but we’ll keep your resume on file should something come up in the future. Darkhorse factor: Nearly lost an eye last spring playing for Bob Nicholson’s money-making machine.

Steven Stamkos — 11 points in nine games
Why he’s on the team: I’ll give the kid some credit, he’s doing it. Had him figured for a first-round bust of epic proportions, but he’s growing nicely. Thanks for coming out: See Neal. Darkhorse factor: His snowboard look will get the club major mountain tail on off-days.

Sidney Crosby — 11 points in 11 games
Why he’s on the team: You already know why. Thirteenth on the list to a first line centre. Interesting in this little stats evaluation that a point per game makes the cut. Is scoring down this year? Thanks for coming out: Only an injury keeps him out. Darkhorse factor: Malkin slips something into his water bottle before the break. I’d keep an eye on Gonchar and Guerin, too.

So who’s not here?
It should be pointed out that I only expect half of these guys to be on the team. But where is Lecavalier this year? Brendan Morrow? Mike Richards, Jeff Carter? Getzlaf or Perry? Toews hasn’t set things on fire and now he’s hurt. Eric Staal, Doan, and has anyone seen Jerome Iginla? Slow starts for everyone!