the 4th star

This past summer has been all about the money. There was the unrestricted free agent *frenzy.* That was around the same time the Phoenix Coyotes financial problems came into the spotlight, when BlackBerry billionaire Jim Balsillie threw his two cents into the fray and the league kept talking out of both sides of its mouth. You know, the place they seem reluctant to put their money in.

Screwed up contracts — both legitimate Chicago fuck-ups and the over-spending variety — became commonplace, and some players decided to gamble on the bigger payday in Russia. Terms like “escrow” and “cap numbers” came to be a part of the conversation, too. Then there was even more change — and even less sense — from Patrick Kane, who allegedly tag-teamed a Buffalo cab driver with his cousin over 20 cents.

It seems talk of climbing out of this recession has put money on the mind and our mind on the money, so in the spirit of cash, let’s take a look at all 21 teams 30 teams as training camps get set to fire up this month. Like most financial ventures, some teams will offer a greater return than others.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS

Southeast Division
2008-09 record: 50-24-8, first in the division, second in the conference
Cap space: $0.583 million

Tip sheet:
Washington was one of five who finished the 2008-09 season with 50 wins…I don’t want to alarm anyone, but Nik Backstrom and Alex Semin are restricted free agents following this season. Could be cap problems in Cap-land…With two young stud goaltenders (Simeon Varlamov and Michal Neuvirth) behind him, Jose Theodore is playing on borrowed time…Alex Ovechkin is prime for a breakout year. This just in.

Fun fact:
Mike Green is the second coming of Al Iafrate.

You should really invest in this club because…
TSN won’t let you watch other highlights until you do.

The bottom will fall out with…
The defence is just not very good. Green needs a huge bounce-back after a miserable post season. Is Tom Poti really second on the depth chart? If I haven’t already, remind me to tell you about my Poti in MSG story later. Speaking of stories, doesn’t MasterClark owe us a Dirk Graham yarn?

Key acquisition:
Mike Knuble. He could approach 40 goals with these guys around him. At least that’s what I told myself when I drafted him last week.

Bottom line:
Ovechkin will have to beat the Penguins before anyone takes him seriously. Except TSN. They think he’s awesome!

After ignoring a 25 year layoff, with three of those spent begging to play, I have decided to make a triumphant return to the beautiful game. In a stunning act of charity, the Crescentwood Saturday Soccer Club has done the unthinkable and allowed me to play with them in the Winnipeg Soccer Division this summer. If I can score one goal this year, I’d be pretty happy. Judging from my inconsistent play, my teammates would be equally ecstatic, too. Here’s the weekly update:

The last game of the season is coming. Sunday afternoon, while my Giants are handing it to the Kansas City Chiefs, I will be on the pitch. The CSSC is through to the championship game against the first-place Elmwood Football Club after a hard fought 2-1 win over the South End Casuals under the tin roof at the University of Manitoba Monday night. Goals for the good guys came from Dr. Ian Hudson and his conjoined twin Colin Kinsella.

Amazingly, I was actually on for the first goal. A nice cross came through the crease (or box, whatever) and in a very optimistic play I tried to head the chance into the net. The ball, of course, was two feet over my head at my highest point, so I don’t really know what I was thinking there. Turns out my *dummy* was just what the doctor ordered, as Hudson snuck in through the back and deposited the open look into the netting.

That was an important lead. It allowed us to play a little more loose against the younger, faster SEC. They carried the play in the second half but when they went down to 10 men following a red card, the game was ours. On a personal note, my ankle does not like having spikes hammered into it and is a little blue. Not the blue of the Giants or Canucks jerseys, and not as dark as say the Bombers or Oilers, but blue. Feels better today, though. I’ll be ready for Sunday (like it matters). Yep, an injury. What a fitting way to close out the campaign.

Now my Saturday history is not up to the level it should be, but this might be the second straight season the Red and Black will face the EFC for bragging rights in the Winnipeg Soccer Division. I may be getting that past mixed with the 2008 President’s Cup, though. If the good doctor is reading this, maybe he can confirm my assertion in the comments for us.

Crescentwood Saturday Soccer Club (8-6-4) vs. Elmwood Football Club (14-1-3)
Sunday, Oct. 4, 2009 @ Vince Leah Community Club
1:15 pm start

OK. Let’s get really serious here for a second. I want you all to take a good look at the above picture. Enjoy the beauty and sweet innocence of this 27-year-old. Her name is Jeon Ji Hyun and other than being from South Korea, I don’t really know what she does. I’m guessing she’s either a model, an actress, or a pop singer. Probably an actress. Whatever her vocation, take a good look at her. Quite striking.

Why am I so adamant that you look at the picture, you ask? When you see the next two posts and the pictures that go along with them, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Jeon is illustrating an important function of Hump Day — adding some soft aesthetic to the otherwise hard to look at sports world.

Maybe just take one more look. Trust me. It will be worth it later today…