the 4th star

After ignoring a 25 year layoff, with three of those spent begging to play, I have decided to make a triumphant return to the beautiful game. In a stunning act of charity, the Crescentwood Saturday Soccer Club has done the unthinkable and allowed me to play with them in the Winnipeg Soccer Division this summer. If I can score one goal this year, I’d be pretty happy. Judging from my inconsistent play, my teammates would be equally ecstatic, too. Here’s the weekly update:

The playoffs in the Winnipeg Soccer Division are afoot. The big CSSC machine took on the Red Devils United at the University of Manitoba’s indoor field last night. Unfortunately, I have a lot to do, so the update will be light. So brief, that everything will be covered by Haiku.

Set pieces to goal
Our ground control held steady
Showers are too hot.

Through to the semis. Still waiting on the opponent. Short and sweet.

This past summer has been all about the money. There was the unrestricted free agent *frenzy.* That was around the same time the Phoenix Coyotes financial problems came into the spotlight, when BlackBerry billionaire Jim Balsillie threw his two cents into the fray and the league kept talking out of both sides of its mouth. You know, the place they seem reluctant to put their money in.

Screwed up contracts — both legitimate Chicago fuck-ups and the over-spending variety — became commonplace, and some players decided to gamble on the bigger payday in Russia. Terms like “escrow” and “cap numbers” came to be a part of the conversation, too. Then there was even more change — and even less sense — from Patrick Kane, who allegedly tag-teamed a Buffalo cab driver with his cousin over 20 cents.

It seems talk of climbing out of this recession has put money on the mind and our mind on the money, so in the spirit of cash, let’s take a look at all 21 teams 30 teams as training camps get set to fire up this month. Like most financial ventures, some teams will offer a greater return than others.

NEW YORK RANGERS

Atlantic Division
2008-09 record: 43-30-9, fourth in the division, seventh in the conference
Cap space: $7.786 million

Tip sheet:
Say what you want about what happened last spring, John Tortorella killed his team’s chances by losing his cool and drawing a suspension. The heat should be right on him if this club gets off to a slow start…Speaking of the hot, GM Glen Sather is certainly on his last chance to win. Gotta think a semifinal spot is the only thing that keeps everything in place on Broadway…In my frustration of doing this NHL previews, I forgot about the Rangers. Alphabetical order, be damned!

Fun fact:
The NHL fixed that Game Seven against the Canucks in ’94. Check the tape. Phantom calls against Vancouver. Kevin Lowe is still holding Bure off the draw. No — YOU get over it!

You should really invest in this club because…
Chris Higgins. Sure. He’s brutal, but I like his pluck. The Rangers need some pluck. Prediction: He’ll turn into the next Adam Graves and the club will retire his number (for no apparent reason to those outside of MSG).

The bottom will fall out with…
The absence of Brian Leetch. And Brian Noonan.

Key acquisition:
The groin issue notwithstanding, but Marian Gaborik is a great signing. He’s the perfect quick-strike weapon a team needs to compete with the Penguins and Capitals of the world.

Bottom line:
This team reminds me of Montreal. Could go either way. Sink or swim.

This past summer has been all about the money. There was the unrestricted free agent *frenzy.* That was around the same time the Phoenix Coyotes financial problems came into the spotlight, when BlackBerry billionaire Jim Balsillie threw his two cents into the fray and the league kept talking out of both sides of its mouth. You know, the place they seem reluctant to put their money in.

Screwed up contracts — both legitimate Chicago fuck-ups and the over-spending variety — became commonplace, and some players decided to gamble on the bigger payday in Russia. Terms like “escrow” and “cap numbers” came to be a part of the conversation, too. Then there was even more change — and even less sense — from Patrick Kane, who allegedly tag-teamed a Buffalo cab driver with his cousin over 20 cents.

It seems talk of climbing out of this recession has put money on the mind and our mind on the money, so in the spirit of cash, let’s take a look at all 21 teams 30 teams as training camps get set to fire up this month. Like most financial ventures, some teams will offer a greater return than others.

OTTAWA SENATORS

Northeast Division
2008-09 record: 36-35-11, fourth in the division, eleventh in the conference
Cap space: $2.136 million

Tip sheet:
Daniel Alfredsson looks like this guy who used to live in Oakbank. Scott Sellen. Not sure if they still resemble one another…The jury is still out on whether Eugene Melnyk is a solid owner or a newshog. He seems to be quoted a lot — not sure that’s a good thing…Dany Heatley was a cancer that nearly killed this team…In hindsight, letting Zdeno Chara get away was a bad move…The stats probably won’t bear this out, but Ron Tugnutt remains the best goaltender in franchise history…Is Mike Fisher still dating Carrie Underwood?

Fun fact:
This may or may not be a comment on his intensity, but Jason Spezza falls asleep on the bench sometimes.

You should really invest in this club because…
Alexei Kovalev. Highly entertaining. Remember that one-timer in the post season, the one where he put a rolling puck right under the bar against Boston? Outstanding. A total headcase, but still worth your time.

The bottom will fall out with…
Bryan Murray. One minute the GM looks like he knows what he’s doing, the next minute he’s getting in a public relations battle with a star player. Geesh.

Key acquisition:
Pascal Leclaire. Sure, he was picked up at the hdeadline but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t an important addition. If he’s healthy (and who knows where that will be?) he should be the answer the club has been looking for.

Bottom line:
Personally, I like what’s going on here. The Heatley trade (with two top six forwards coming back) gives them some excellent scoring depth.