the 4th star

In the spirit of recycled ideas, I’ve decided to ‘borrow’ one of my favourite money-themed segments from these fine young folks and try to build my own financial empire by breaking even each week. It seems an early retirement might be the only option left. Before that can be accomplished, however, a little knowledge of knowing when to lay down the cash and knowing when to shut the laptop is needed. What’s really needed is some disposable income.

God bless you nearly forgotten online gambling deposits.

Last week I decided to re-visit an old account. Following the New York Giants Super Bowl win from a couple seasons past, I dipped into it a few times early last football schedule, never really finding my stride when picking the games. Truth be told, I was a little careless in the selection process, riding teams who were poised to break out on a week-to-week basis. Nice job on that slow start, San Diego. Jerks.

Much to my delight, I still had a little dough in there. Three hundred and thirty-two dollars. A sum so small that it isn’t even worth figuring out how to take it out of the computer, but enough of a nest-egg that it could potentially provide a heightened sense of self-esteem. Plus, and more importantly as Costanza will attest to, this is found money. I want to parlay it! Make a big score!

How is this different than just picking the winners every week, keeping score and boring you all to tears? It’s not, minus one small variable. There’s money involved. Everything is better with dough on the line. Pressure golf. Make it of break it.

Three games caught my eye this week. Follow my moves at your own peril. I put down 10 bucks on each game and if that sounds conservative, well then get bent. This kitty has to last me the season. Or at least until November.

New England minus-3.5 at New York Jets
I am not going to buy the notion that the NYJ are any good with a rookie pivot at the controls. Nor am I purchasing the idea of a middling New England team. Last week was just that — last week. The division juices will be flowing for this one, and I like Brady over that other good looking quarterback on the other side.

Atlanta minus-6 vs Carolina
Conventional betting wisdom gives the home side three points just for being the home side. That means the people who set this line figure the Falcons are just slightly better than the Panthers. Like most of the western world, I don’t see it that way. I see Jake the Snake getting the yank after his third INT midway through the second quarter and the Falcons pouring it on in the second half.

Detroit plus-10 vs Minnesota
Everyone likes this game. People are emailing me about this game. They all think the same thing: This is the game where Detroit turns it around. This is the game where Detroit makes a car people want to drive. Here’s the X-factor in all this: You see, I’m an idiot. Everyone knows that. How many times have I stated that on this blog? The idea that the Lions would break free from their losing ways against a superior club like the Vikings is ridiculous but here I am, taking the home team. Granted, it’s the home team PLUS 10 POINTS. That’s a lot, especially when Minnesota has its bench in the game for most of the second half, giving the Lions a couple pity scores to make the game reasonable. Within 10 points reasonable? Even idiots think so.

Well, that certainly didn’t take long, did it?

The number of participants in the 2009 4th Star Suicide Pool has thinned out considerably after the first week of the National Football League season. The Houston Texans and Arizona Cardinals turned out to be early killing machines, as did the Cincinnati Bengals. Watching them give it up in the last minute was the worst of the deaths, a certain incompletion into triple-coverage turned into a winning touchdown score for Denver. Week Two promises to be even better. According to my records, we only have five alive.

Hot Live Stardom
ruther
DKUN
Masterclark
wazoowazny

If your name is on that list, register your pick in the comments below.

This week, yours truly is taking the Washington Redskins. Losers to the New York Giants, the ‘Skins will need to jump into the win column to keep pace with the division. They didn’t look great against the G-Men, but with St. Louis coming to town an easier time should be had. Seattle ran for 167 yards against the Rams last  week, so I imagine Clinton Portis is looking forward to not running into the New York front seven. How about the Rams schedule? Open up in Seattle and then travel to the other coast in Week Two. Wicked.

This past summer has been all about the money. There was the unrestricted free agent *frenzy.* That was around the same time the Phoenix Coyotes financial problems came into the spotlight, when BlackBerry billionaire Jim Balsillie threw his two cents into the fray and the league kept talking out of both sides of its mouth. You know, the place they seem reluctant to put their money in.

Screwed up contracts — both legitimate Chicago fuck-ups and the over-spending variety — became commonplace, and some players decided to gamble on the bigger payday in Russia. Terms like “escrow” and “cap numbers” came to be a part of the conversation, too. Then there was even more change — and even less sense — from Patrick Kane, who allegedly tag-teamed a Buffalo cab driver with his cousin over 20 cents.

It seems talk of climbing out of this recession has put money on the mind and our mind on the money, so in the spirit of cash, let’s take a look at all 21 teams 30 teams as training camps get set to fire up this month. Like most financial ventures, some teams will offer a greater return than others.

MONTREAL CANADIENS

Northeast Division
2008-09 record: 41-30-11, second in the division, eighth in the conference
Cap space: $2.726 million

Tip sheet:
Most of the hockey world is still trying to figure out how Scott Gomez, Brian Gionta, and Mike Cammalleri are upgrades for Alexei Kovalev, Saku Koivu and quality room guy Chris Higgins…Why do they spell ‘Canadiens’ that way?…GM Bob Gainey has put his job on the line with the total makeover…Jacques Martin will not last the season — Book it!…What are the odds of Guy Carbonneau being asked back if/when Gainey gets the pipe?

Fun fact:
I still have the practice puck I found while touring around the old Forum. Fascinating, eh?

You should really invest in this club because…
You can always tell the people who you’re jawing at the bar with that your team has more Stanley Cups than anyone else. Habs fans have been singing that tune forever.

The bottom will fall out with…
Carey Price’s nightlife. He needs a bounce-back season. And another Vodka Redbull.

Key acquisition:
Gomez, just for the massive size of his contract. He’s due $8-million per for the next two non-playoff winters in La Belle Province.

Bottom line:
Too many changes in one summer. Ask the late-90s New York Rangers or current Winnipeg Blue Bombers how that plan works.