the 4th star

1. The Dany Heatley situation has finally been resolved. It’s easy to figure the Sharks the winners but one thing you can’t overlook in the National Hockey league is depth. San Jose now has big contracts to Heatley ($8-million), Joe Thornton ($7.2 million), Dan Boyle ($6.667-million), Patrick Marleau ($6.3 million), and Evgeni Nabokov ($6-million). That’s around $34 million for five players. Granted, those guys are all-star calibre talents, but what about the secondary scoring should they fail? Check that: When they fail. Jon Cheechoo doesn’t look like he can skate anymore, but Ottawa won this trade going away.

2. Wow. Michael Jordan is getting roasted everywhere today for his Hall of Fame speech, the one where he basically said everyone sucks but him. A full rundown of his *lowlights* here and here. Funny how there were no snippets from his Airness about the brutal, Brett Favre-esque flame-out with Washington. That’s the Jordan I’ll always remember.

3. So Wayne Gretzky doesn’t show up for the start of the Phoenix Coyotes training camp and everyone goes nuts. The Great One, of course, is currently in a bit of a contract tussle with the *owners* so his absence wasn’t that surprising. What was surprising is how quickly team leaders have used the off-ice distraction as an excuse for the season — three weeks before the season actually starts.

If it can’t find a buyer to keep the team in Arizona, the league would look to relocate the franchise. “It’s incredibly unfair for my wife and kids,” Coyotes captain Shane Doan said. “They want to know the answer but nothing has changed since May 5. That part is disappointing.”

4. Off the top of my head: Giants, Carolina, Seattle, New England, Houston, Dallas, San Diego, Chicago, Minnesota, Atlanta, Cinci, Indy, Arizona, Baltimore, New Orleans. Straight up. Here are your television maps, too.

For the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, ’tis the season.

A win over the Saskatchewan Roughriders tomorrow afternoon, and the Big Blue Bombers will be a 4-6 operation with a legitimate chance of avoiding a crossover playoff situation and claiming the final spot in the East Division as their own. And followers of the club will be forced to hear how things have turned around. If this team could get put it all together for 60 minutes they’d be a real force in the CFL. Blah, blah, blah…

A loss on Sunday, however, outlines a more interesting scenario. The club will be a miserable 3-7 and faced with the reality of playing the Montreal Alouettes three more times this season. Avoiding the ten-loss season will be tough. Tough as in ‘hard to avoid,’ not tough in a ‘strong’ sense of the word.

If a defeat does come to pass, will we see a white flag from the Bombers coaching staff? As ET aptly stated earlier this week, a lost season in the standings with no chance of ending a generational Grey Cup drought might be the perfect time to start building an actual quarterbacking option for next year. Damon Allen Michael Bishop is not the answer — no matter how many times fans hear about the medical miracle of having a rocket launcher for an arm or how much faith the coach puts in him. Asks Tait:

Our question, however, is this: Where is the long-term upside in continuing to hitch your wagon to a 33-year-old vagabond QB — besides qualifying for the playoffs with likely little payoff at the end? More importantly, we ask should they sacrifice the rest of the season in an attempt to find a clear-cut answer to this most-critical question?

Memo to Mike Kelly: The fact Allen Bishop is your best option to win speaks more to the dearth of quarterbacking talent in your stable than it does to the talent he brings to the field turf.

Yes, the stakes for the Banjo Bowl have been raised for the Winnipeg side. Continue to do just enough to keep fans frustrated and eventually bow out of the post season in the division semifinal, or plant some seeds in the week areas and begin the rebuilding development phase? It’s September. We’re getting into the later stages of the season. If something isn’t growing by now, and the possibility of a bumper crop is mere fantasy, then maybe it’s time to till it up and start anew next summer.

What am I talking about? If things continue as is, this one step forward, one step back, two feet in the mouth pattern that’s developed, the frosty reception from the fans will kill everything off anyway. On to the questions…

Saskatchewan Roughriders (5-4) at Winnipeg Blue Bombers (3-6)
St. James Street Clusterfuck
3 p.m.

1. This is it for Damon Allen Michael Bishop, right?
No doubt about it. If the Don Barber of the CFL (all the right tools, they’re just in a shed somewhere) can’t move the chains and grab a convincing win, one has to believe quarterback tryouts will begin in the second half. Back-up Bryan Randall has made it this far on reputation and he may get some reps, but all eyes will be on this Casey Bramlet fellow. Word on the street that Kelly has officially broken up with Stefan LeFors and has his eye on this strapping young lad from the NFL scrap heap. This could be the start of a developing beautiful relationship.

2. What happens when if Joe Lobendahn or Siddeeq Shabazz goes down?
Barrin Simpson, his trade demands and all, won’t dress this week. If the way things have gone for the Blue Bombers is a precursor, than his omission from the line-up should mean that either Joe-Lo or the SidShab will be writhing in pain on the field turn by the second quarter. An injury to guys with a history of injury problems isn’t out of the question. Hard to imagine that changing the fate of Simpson (he’s as good as done in a Bomber uniform), but where does that leave the Bombers linebacker depth? Labbe, McKinley, and Doggett. Don’t know if this applies but an old coach once told me there’s a reason why some guys start the game on the bench.

3. What ‘success’ are you talking about?
“If he’s asking to be traded publicly, you just hope his (turf) toe limits his takers right now. He’s been a big part of the success we’ve had here and it would be a shame to see him go … I’ve played a long time with Barrin and it’s always disappointing when a player of that calibre has difficulties here or where a situation arises where he wants to get out and apply his trade elsewhere.” — celebrated media partner Doug Brown to Bender, ignoring the 3-6 reality like only he can.

This past summer has been all about the money. There was the unrestricted free agent *frenzy.* That was around the same time the Phoenix Coyotes financial problems came into the spotlight, when BlackBerry billionaire Jim Balsillie threw his two cents into the fray and the league kept talking out of both sides of its mouth. You know, the place they seem reluctant to put their money in.

Screwed up contracts — both legitimate Chicago fuck-ups and the over-spending variety — became commonplace, and some players decided to gamble on the bigger payday in Russia. Terms like “escrow” and “cap numbers” came to be a part of the conversation, too. Then there was even more change — and even less sense — from Patrick Kane, who allegedly tag-teamed a Buffalo cab driver with his cousin over 20 cents.

It seems talk of climbing out of this recession has put money on the mind and our mind on the money, so in the spirit of cash, let’s take a look at all 21 teams 30 teams as training camps get set to fire up this month. Like most financial ventures, some teams will offer a greater return than others.

EDMONTON OILERS

Northwest Division
2008-09 record: 38-35-9, fourth in the division, eleventh in the conference
Cap space: $.829 million

Tip sheet:
Remember how Northlands was an automatic two points for the Oilers? Not anymore. The Oil actually had more wins on the road (20) than they did at home (18) last year…Mike Comrie is a great pick-up. Thousands of nerdy twenty-something guys will now show a renewed interest in the club thanks to Hilary Duff…Even as I type this, oft-injured Ethan Moreau is getting up slowly…Edmonton has great fans who are passionate about hockey, which is why no one wants to play there. That, and the fact that there’s fuck all to do there on off-nights. Seriously, how many times can you go to Joey Tomatoes before you get bored with the puck bunnies?

Fun fact:
No team that pays Shawn Horcoff $7 million this season will ever win the Stanley Cup.

You should really invest in this club because…
Pat Quinn and his good Irish sensibilities. And the Duff sightings, of course.

The bottom will fall out with…
The lack of a go-to guy up front. This has plagued the Oilers since Doug Weight left. The Jaromir Jagr rumours are still out there, but that’s at least a season away. When does Dustin Penner start to get comfortable?

Key acquisition:
Nikolai Khabibulin. Good signing. Gives the Oilers a No. 1 guy between the pipes. Would have been a great signing if it was 1999.

Bottom line:
Face it. The only way their going to get into the post season is if they get hot with 15 games left and sneak into the eighth spot.

Why don’t you take you take off your jacket and stay a while? Is it hot in here or is it just me? The Man Sandwich says winter is the best time of the year. Things are heating up, ladies. Old man winter — or whoever this guy is — can’t wait for cuddle season.