the 4th star

Big news out of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers tonight, and it has nothing to do with a quarterback shutting it down for the season.

The Globe’s Dave Naylor is reporting that linebacker Barrin Simpson, the guy who every young player should aspire to model their football careers after, has had it up to his facemask with the Mike Kelly Show and wants out. Per Naylor:

Multiple sources say disagreements between the middle linebacker and Kelly have reached the stage that Simpson has been given permission to seek a trade and has been reaching out to other CFL teams this week. According to a source, Simpson has had disagreements with Kelly and defensive co-ordinator Mark Nelson over football matters, as well as issues related to a season-long turf-toe injury which he sustained in the preseason.

Whoa. That won’t be good for morale heading into the Banjo Bowl this Sunday.

Say what you want about his eternal optimism, Simpson has a motor that won’t quit in the linebacker spot and is a well-respected player across the league. Jesus Christ, the guy is a priest! The man doesn’t swear. I mean, noses don’t get any cleaner than that. By all accounts, he is the furthest thing from a ‘me-guy’ in the league, so if this is true and he’s asked to remove himself from the circus, then this will be yet another strike against Kelly.

Wow. Every week, it’s something. Every single week.

I made a rare appearance on the Hustler & Lawless show last night, talking some football and participating in their fantasy football game. Not a big fantasy football fan (ed note — my fantasies do not involve the gridiron), as the rooting for individual players each week — in some cases different players from week to week — gets in the way of picking one team and cheering for them until you die. Or until they move to Phoenix. Or until they hire an offensive genius to guide the team to last place in most offensive statistical categories.

Anyway, the format was like this: Pick one quarterback, two running backs, three wide receivers, a tight end, a kicker, and one team defence. The list of players (and teams) in each categories was weighted with a dollar value, and the total value of players picked can’t exceed $75 bucks.

In the spirit of the draft, I picked all New York Giants. Hakeem Nicks was a dollar. Kevin Boss was two bucks. Eli Manning was $11, while a guy like Drew Brees was like $18 or something like that. High teens, for sure

My total: Thirty-one dollars. Yep, I’m in good shape, salary cap-wise.

This past summer has been all about the money. There was the unrestricted free agent *frenzy.* That was around the same time the Phoenix Coyotes financial problems came into the spotlight, when BlackBerry billionaire Jim Balsillie threw his two cents into the fray and the league kept talking out of both sides of its mouth. You know, the place they seem reluctant to put their money in.

Screwed up contracts — both legitimate Chicago fuck-ups and the over-spending variety — became commonplace, and some players decided to gamble on the bigger payday in Russia. Terms like “escrow” and “cap numbers” came to be a part of the conversation, too. Then there was even more change — and even less sense — from Patrick Kane, who allegedly tag-teamed a Buffalo cab driver with his cousin over 20 cents.

It seems talk of climbing out of this recession has put money on the mind and our mind on the money, so in the spirit of cash, let’s take a look at all 21 teams 30 teams as training camps get set to fire up this month. Like most financial ventures, some teams will offer a greater return than others.

DALLAS STARS

Pacific Division
2008-09 record: 36-35-11, third in the division, twelfth in the conference
Cap space: $10.543 million

Tip sheet:
When Brendan Morrow tore his ACL early in the season, the Stars started looking towards this winter…This just in: Marty Turco may not be as good as everyone hopes he is…Just based on the douchiness of the city, Dallas is the only place in the NHL where Mike Riberio can play…Ditto Mike Modano…Don’t know about you, but I was really hoping to see Brett Hull completely screw that organization right up…Hey, how did that Sean Avery signing work out?

Fun fact:
Head coach Marc Crawford uses gel in his hair.

You should really invest in this club because…
Forward Brad Richards. Stop laughing. He’s not going to play a strong two-way game or win you a big draw, but what he will do is find the scoresheet night in a night out. How many times have I looked at the summaries and said, “Richards had three points tonight?” The answer: Twenty-three.

The bottom will fall out with…
Turco. Turd-co.

Key acquisition:
Did they not sign anyone? I guess I’ll have to go with new GM Joe Nieuwendyk. He should play things carefully for the first year or so, which should be good news for the organization. Now watch him trade James Neal — their only real stud prospect up front — before October.

Bottom line:
In tough for a post season spot. Once again, they’ll be in the mix for a 5-8 spot.

It’s that time again. National Football League football played nationally in a league with more teams than a farmer has fingers. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I may find myself in a couple pools this year (and one fantasy draft — really?) but the one pool I love the most is this one. I am taking my ball and going home. The owner of the lonely heart. Senor Solitary. Alone and an easy target. Dancing with myself.

The 2009 4th Star Suicide Pool. The format is simple. Pick a different team each week, every week, until you lose the game. If you take New England in Week One, that’s it. You can’t take them again. Play it smart, people. Wait a second. Why am I coaching you the rules? No one ever wants to play, anyway. It’s just me, writing to no one and putting my lack of football acumen out there for all to laugh at.

If memory serves, I think I flamed out in Week Four last season and in Week Six the season before. The goal this year: To at least get to the New York Giants’ bye-week, which comes in Week No. 10. The smart money is on me not doing that.

So, which team is going to get me on a winning streak? Well, there are a few options in the ‘lock of the week’ crowd. Detroit playing in New Orleans screams a Saints win (that 13-point spread doesn’t hurt, either). Buffalo at New England? Yeah. Lock it up. Even Kansas City at Baltimore seems too good to be true. But to avoid the arrows in a long-term sense, it behooves one to take a lessor team when they are playing a brutal team. It might be a 17 week streak, right? You can’t take all the sure things right off the bat.

So with that I’m taking the Seattle Seahawks to beat the St. Louis Rams on Sunday.

Here’s how it looks over here: The game is at Qwest, which is outdoor and loud as fuck. The domed Rams are in re-building mode, and the Seahawks think they can win the NFC West (which they probably will). The good folks in Vegas have the ‘Hawks as eight and a half point lovables. No matter. The suicide pool is a straight-up situation.

There you go. If you want to play along, give your pick in the comments. As long as I’m alive, this football version of Russian Roulette will happen every Thursday.