Cuts Like a Knife
Looking for work at this hour is David Tyree, who made catching footballs with your helmet on the game’s biggest stage fashionable. On a personal level, his lucky grab not only erased a fucking miserable 2007 and set up the winning score in the Super Bowl, it also kicked off a wonderful 2008. Anyway, he was cut by the New York Giants today. No surprise, really, when you consider he missed all of last year with a knee injury and has just 28 catches in the past three seasons. One minute you’re a hero, the next minute you’re cut. Ouch.
As Tyree explores where his next stop might be — if there even is one for the 29-year-old — I offer this taste of perception: At least you’re not trying to make things like the weather and people getting married at donut shops sound remotely newsworthy. Sigh.
Jerry: So listen, I gotta go down to Atlantic City. I’m performing at Bally’s.
Morty: You just heard about this today?
Jerry: (pulling on a jacket) They had a cancellation and they instantly called me.
Helen: Who cancelled?
Jerry: Carrot Top. I told you, my career’s fine.
