the 4th star

Things to do when you’re in Winnipeg, Pacman.

5. Boomers
I think it’s still open. Great drink prices and if you get lucky, you won’t have to pay a cover some nights. They have this thing there called the ‘The Monkey Bar’ that runs across sniffer’s row. Head down and see for yourself. Only go here Pacman if you don’t want to be noticed.

4. Solid Gold
Formally the Gentleman’s Club. One time I went there for my friend Buzz’s stag and this stripper was doing Matrix-like moves. I thought I was going to die. Haven’t been there since, but I hear the talent isn’t what it used to be. The downtown location will be perfect for Jones, as he’ll probably be in the Exchange bar district anyway.

3. Club Fantasy
No time to wash up after a practice, Pacman? No problem. There’s a shower right in the middle of the stage at Club Fantasy. Talk about makin’ it rain! An advantage to this is that it’s a real time-saver. Don’t know about you (actually, I do), but I hate wasting valuable nudie girl time with trivial things like bathing. Located at the Balmoral, which works out well as they have rooms that are ideal for the after-party or hiding from the law.

2. Teasers
Teasers is a staple in Winnipeg. Big venue, huge stage, and enough blue collar workers and shady characters to make the experience truly memorable. I have a few friends who are teachers in the area and nothing has made them more proud than to see one of their former students either serving there or shakin’ their thang up there. And don’t forget about Banana Fest. If you can get a ride out there, Pacman, it’s worth it.

1. Sin City
I used to know this hot girl who would always come here. She wasn’t a stripper, she just liked the dancing. Don’t know how that applies to your situation, but you should know that this joint is run by strippers. That’s right: a strip club run by strippers. Easily the best of the bunch in Winnipeg. Plus, you’ll love the location, just a few blocks from Canad Inns Stadium. Why not ask coach if you can have the film session here. It doesn’t hurt to ask, does it?