the 4th star

John David Booty stormed out of the Minnesota Vikings practice facility in Eden Prairie, Minn. after the afternoon workout.

“Total bullshit,” he mumbled to reporters before settling into the bench at the bus stop just outside the building. “I don’t know what I am going to do now.

“What time is it?”

Booty was upset following news that he gave up his No. 4 jersey to the Vikings newest starting quarterback, Brett Favre. In a change of pace for the ol’ gunslinger, Favre changed his mind from the first time he changed his mind (between the time he second-guessed and wasn’t sure) and decided to come back to the NFL.

“I knew it was a bad sign when we had waffles for breakfast this morning,” Booty said, digging in his pockets for bus fare. “He didn’t even offer me any dough for (the number). They just took it off my back. At least give me a watch or something.

“I mean, the guy is older than Father Time.”

Favre will be 40-years-old on Oct. 10, the same day he’s scheduled to go on injury reserve.

Not funny is the amount of money Favre stands to make before moving onto the Oakland Raiders next season. ESPN reports a $10-12 million deal for the career numbers, though salary total has been reported for his diminished skills.

The Vikings desperation prompted one member of the Minnesota media to utter:

“This has Herschel Walker written all over it — minus the draft picks and bobsled, of course.”

Booty will wear No. 9 with the Vikings now, and should still find himself on the roster as the third string quarterback. Look for Tavaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels — who was brought in during the off-season to be the potential starter — to be released before the season starts.

Said Booty of the new number:

“This isn’t hockey. Nine sucks. Here’s my bus, guys…”

In a related story, followers of the Chicago Bears are dancing in the streets.

Up in Winnipeg, Canada, some eight hours north of the Twin Cities, Manitoba Moose chairman Mark Chipman and Shaw-TV sports guy Jim Toth — both grizzled Bears fans — were celebrating at the corner of Portage and Main, having wrapped up a NFC North division title already.

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NOTE: I had Favre signing with the Vikings after the third pre-season contest, so even I was guilty of giving him the benefit of doubt. What a mistake by Minnesota. You know it’s bad when ESPN’s Chris Carter and SI’s Peter King, two longtime Favre supporters, have issues with it. This would have been a great signing 10 years ago. Fifteen years ago. It seems some are not buying into the “historical season” the Vikings website is selling.

Finally had a chance to listen to the Mike Kelly radio show this morning and once again, the coach of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers delivered the comedy goods. The Greatest Show on Mirth. That’s what the Monday coach’s show should be called, what with the intentional and unintentional ridiculous Kelly provides listeners each and every week. Should be pointed out (again) that most of those same listeners are actually paying customers — those who shell out their (minimum) $50 a game that he’s insulting — but why continue to beat that dead horse?

If the organization doesn’t want to admit that they’ve made a mistake, that’s their prerogative. On behalf of displaced and current sportswriters everywhere, here’s hoping they keep Kelly around for a long time.

- He makes us laugh.

- His team makes us laugh.

- Insulting the people who support the Bombers with their wallets. Also quite funny, as in “gee, that’s a funny way to do business.”

- And the people who make excuses for (or defend) Kelly? Hilarious.

Kelly’s latest Komedy Klassic? Taking a trip down memory lane, something the increasingly Krusty coach loves to do when he gets to choose the path. Oh, what a journey it is, telling the listeners about all the great football coaches he honed his craft under — like the transparent name dropping will somehow explain or remedy the pathetic Bomber offence.

Andy Reid. Joe Gibbs. Steve Spurrier. Galen Hall. Cal Murphy. Worked with them all. Kelly can’t seem to go on one radio show or do one interview without mentioning Reid and Gibbs — handing out his resume to the listeners who doubt he has what it takes to be a head coach in the CFL.

I studied under a lot of people. If you think you know about schemes, please tell me exactly what I need to do and tell me what Montreal did against us and how we should have responded against them.

Memory lane. A great scheme if there ever was one. Twenty-nine team records on offence when Matt Dunigan was quarterback. Ah, the memories. Good times, and more importantly, a great way to deflect what is happening with the Blue Bombers this season.

The caller in question last night, a chap by the name of Jim, looks for a similar stroll. Wanting to not only bask in the warmth that this blast from the past is providing but looking to make a point how Kelly might not be the right man for the Blue Bombers head coaching job, wants to extend the trip further. Valdosta State comes up, the Division II college that Kelly was head coach at following his first go at it with Winnipeg. Kelly had an sub-.500 record in two-plus seasons there, getting his pink slip midway through the third season.

Seems to be some construction on that highway, as Kelly looks for a detour.

Caller: My problem is…if you look at your record from Valdosta State…

Mike Kelly: Oh here we go! How can you possibly compare 17, 18, and 19-year-olds against 30-year old men? It’s apples and oranges, alright. I promise you, Valdosta would come up here and play very, very well and probably beat the University of Manitoba…OK? Comparing the two isn’t the same thing.

Bob Irving: Jim, I think we’re going to leave it there. This is just going around in circles.

Ed note — Just like the Bombers. Or the vultures overhead. Bahahaha.

A few observations:

1. He never had a chance to finish his point, but it’s easy to assume that the caller wanted to talk about Kelly’s lack of head coaching success in the past. Those memories are off-limits, apparently.

2. Pretty sure the caller isn’t comparing professionals to student athletes. In fact, Kelly makes this assumption with some confusing deflection method that seems to not only discourage the caller from making his point, but it also takes Irving off the scent.

3. The hypothetical of Valdosta playing the Bisons and beating them? Where is that shot coming from? What does that have to do with anything? That’s the last thing Brian Dobie and the Bisons need — having Kelly drag them into the quagmire that is the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

4. Callers can look forward to three responses from Kelly: a) standard lines about working hard and sticking with the system; b) name-dropping and telling people how smart he is by latching on to coaches who have actually had some head coaching success; and c) sarcasm.