Blow’d Up: Godspeed Mother Nature
Who had Mitch Zalnasky in the pool?
With a big assist from Bob Irving, the former Winnipeg Blue Bomber receiver takes prize as the first media person to challenge and come out on top of a stare-down with Bombers head coach and offensive guru Mike Kelly. A post-game interview on the radio, coming at you live following his club’s AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL showing at home against the Toronto Argonauts, provides the venue for the compelling theatre and lesson in environmental protection:
Zalnasky: What about the quarterbacking situation going forward, is Stefan (LeFors) still your man or are you going to re-evaluate heading into next week?
Kelly: You watched all three of ‘em play tonight, does anybody have any suggestions for me? That’s what it comes down to — you saw all three quarterbacks tonight…
Credit Zalnasky for not backing down here. He comes right back with the suggestion that Ritchie Williams looked the best out of the three, as he at least moved the chains a few times in the fourth quarter. Kelly, naturally, wasn’t interested in hearing anything positive on anyone but LeFors, pointing out that the Argos took some “wonderful penalties on that drive.” He then praised the officials for their work. Sarcastically, of course.
Irving then jumps in, wondering what the deal is with LeFors’ confidence these days. Kelly says the usual things on the relationship between the coach and player, preceding the familiar refrain by suggesting that Winnipeg isn’t “a great environment to try and groom anyone.”
Uh-oh.
House organ or not, you’re not going to slip a line like that past a veteran like Irving. It’s at this point I’m screaming at my radio, begging for a follow-up question on the “environment.” The Bombers play-by-play man fights every urge to stay positive and asks the question:
“What do you mean it’s not a great environment?”
Kelly: Uh, duh…uh…just the schizophrenic reactions to wins and losses around here. Um…there just needs to be some stability. I know this will be a tough week for everyone involved and we just have to block all that out and stay the course.”
(Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis describing a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality — ed.)
Irving: Do you think it’s much different here then other places?
Kelly: Yeah, I do.
Irving: You do, eh?
A shocked Zalnasky jumps in: Really?
Kelly: Yes.
Zalnasky: Every city wants their home team to win. I would think that’s…Philadelphia, Mike. You’re from Philadelphia, would they accept a 1-3 from the Eagles?
BLAMMO! The straight-shooter just took one. Not a good night.
Kelly backed off his ridiculous assertion, but not before inserting his other foot inside his mouth with a comment about the level of expectations from the community (or environment). Apparently, when you blow into town, bring in a guy who was a third-string quarterback on another team last year and proclaim you can turn him into a legitimate starter, make disparaging remarks about the former operations department, start talking about how wins and results are the only things that matter, people are going to expect that you back up what you tell them.
Wins and losses and getting better each week and hard work. You and your team haven’t earned any breaks, Mike. You said you didn’t want them. Don’t ask for them now.
I’m not a fan, but there’s one thing I know about the football team in this town: The fans actually care. A lot. They want to see the team win. They’ve been waiting for 18 years. So when they see your offence collect one first down in the first half — after all the bravado you’ve spouted in the months you’ve been in the captain’s chair — and those fans start screaming Boo-urns, it’s not a smart business plan to blame them for not supporting the product.
Over 28,000 suckers paid to see that debacle in person. You should be supporting them for their ill-thought out disposable income decision on a Friday night. They were probably more frustrated with themselves; not with your putrid attack or your stable of quarterbacks that deserved to be booed — even when an autographed jersey of one of them is a contest prize.
Said Kelly on the not-so-great environment: I think there’s a level of sensibility that needs to come into play. I don’t know if I’m witnessing that right now.
The environment feels the same way.
I’m not typically a reactionary guy. Cutting a guy this loose this early in the season would generally seem silly. But it seems to me that having Mike Kelly around is just bad business all round. I always thought Doug Berry was ornery, but at the very least he never overtly called out the paying customers. It always seemed as if he went into the OB coach show kicking and screaming, but when he was in the studio he took his lumps from the fans.
Mike Kelly is a worse coach then Berry. At least during the o’fer run the start last season, the bombers got touchdowns and first downs. But to take such an adversarial role with the paying customers, the over 28 000 paying customers who could have instead gone to the lake, a Goldeyes game or the Fringe Festival is bad news. The Bombers were in the red for a long time, and seeing as we’re only 2 home regular season games in, 7 games of empty stands where pissy fans once sat would be very bad news.
Again, I’m not a reactionary guy, but unless Kelly is offering unequivocal contrition on Monday, we’re not looking for a new QB we’re looking for a new coach.
Dave Shorr
July 25, 2009 at 9:25 pm
[...] If you’re looking for unintentional comedy tonight (and The Bachelorette final isn’t your thing) then be sure to listen to this week’s edition of the Mike Kelly Show at 7:00 pm on CJOB. After Friday’s performance by the ‘Worst Show On Turf’ I can only imagine the insults that Kelly will be dishing out to his paying customers. Of course, he already got a head start on the post-game show, calling us all “schizophrenic.” [...]
That’s a nice looking hole you’ve dug « PolicyFrog
July 27, 2009 at 2:42 pm
[...] them idiots on the phone. They didn’t like being called “fair-weather” and “schizophrenic.” Those people on the benches were here long before Kelly came in and they’ll be here [...]
Beggars Banquet « the 4th star
October 15, 2009 at 2:17 pm
[...] because the colour commentator wasn’t at practice that week was…well, weak and uninformed. Zalnasky’s job is to provide objective explanations for what is happening on the field and when a team gets it handed to them like the Bombers did, speculation on the club looking ahead [...]
Can I Get a Little More Syrup for This? « the 4th star
November 2, 2009 at 7:21 pm