the 4th star

Slayer/Megadeth
MTS Centre

I don’t go to every show that comes to town. I mean, it’s not like I’m this guy, but I do frequent my fair share of venues. As a result of this semi-regular concert-going, my ears appreciate the little rubber case I usually carry with me when going out. In this little rubber case, I keep the two ear plugs that came with it and a few extra-strength Advils. Gel caps. Just in case someone has a headache or something like that. When Megadeth came on, the ear plugs went in and everything was fine. Killed by the headcrusher. Whatever that meant. Slayer came on next. It was so loud and intense, I had to push my ear plugs further in towards my brain. At one point I think they were touching each other. That maneuver produced moderate returns on hearing protection, though, so I was forced to chart a new course. This song is about murder. Remember those gel caps I mentioned off the top? Well, they came in quite handy when I also plugged them into my ears. It worked, and prevented a sure headache after the show. It was like my own personal Angel of Death. Or Deaf. Yes, the sound and intensity of Slayer proved to be quite the conundrum. A human could barely tolerate the volume, but the experience was extremely addictive. At one point of the show, a friend who was sitting next to me in the suite texted the following: I am scared. Good. Go with that feeling. Pretty sure I was the only one wearing a pink hoodie at the show. Yeah, that’s right. How do you like dem apples, metal?

Fishing was a bust. Driving wind, driving rain, driving up to Bird Lake to watch the host drive away with my poker money. Too reckless. That’s where I fail at the tables. Anyway, a couple things to ponder tonight as you debate the relevancy of Megadeth and Slayer in the grand scheme of the heavy metal world:

1. Wow. A great piece from TG at The Province today. Here’s where the rubber meets the road for Gary Bettman: Those who take a close look at the financial situations involving the lesser teams in the NHL already know what Gallagher is saying here. What really drives the sketchiness home for the common fan (in this case, the Vancouver Canucks fan) is when the situation involves your team, a free agent like Jay Bouwmeester, and a hated division rival.

The Phoenix Coyotes, whose bills are being paid by the NHL, felt free to expand their payroll by taking on an expensive Flames defenceman. That means the Flames now have the best chance to sign a player the Vancouver Canucks might liked to have signed, by off-loading a cap liability in Vandermeer to the Coyotes, a team whose bills are being paid partly by the Aquilini family through revenue sharing and most recently by league dues. By extension in Bettman’s world, Vancouver Canuck fans therefore have helped finance a competitive disadvantage to their own team.

2. Speaking of great reviews, Roger Ebert’s take of Transformers 2 is pure snark.

The term Assault on the Senses has become a cliché. It would be more accurate to describe the film simply as “painful.” The volume is cranked way up, probably on studio instructions, and the sound track consists largely of steel crashing discordantly against steel. Occasionally a Bot voice will roar thunderingly out of the left-side speakers, (1) reminding us of Surround Sound, or (2) reminding the theater to have the guy take another look at those right-side speakers. Beneath that is boilerplate hard-pounding action music, alternating with deep bass voices intoning what sounds like Gregorian chant without the Latin, or maybe even without the words: Just apprehensive sounds, translating as Oh, no! No! These Decepticons® are going to steal the energy of the sun and destroy the Earth!

Day Two. This is the time when general managers and scouting staffs grip it and rip it. Forget about course management — just get up there, hit it and see where it goes. Three more thoughts on the 2009 NHL Entry Draft….

1. Can someone please explain the Calgary Flames to me? And I’m not talking about the Olli Jokinen trade at the deadline last season. So they give up a third round pick to Florida for the rights to negotiate with the Jay Bouwmeester camp for the next three and a half days. Forget about the actual trade. Bringing in the underwhelming defenceman makes no sense and here’s why:

Look at the big tickets the Flames have locked up for next year already. Iginla will make $7 million. Kiprusoff will make $7 million. Phaneuf is on the books for $6.5 million. Jokinen is at $5.5 million. There’s $26 million right there. Let’s keep going. Langkow is at $4.25 million. Sarich is at an amazing $3.7 million, while Regehr will pull in $3.5 million for laying on the trainer’s table.

That brings the total up to $37.45 million. For seven players.

Considering Bouwmeester is probably going to fetch a $6.5 million paycheque this season, that would put the Flames at about $44 million. The NHL salary cap for next season is $57.8 million, giving Calgary roughly $13 million to play with. When you think of the problems they had icing a full team at the end of last year, it really makes you wonder how they’ll manage the cap this time around.

2. Mentioned Scott Glennie yesterday, so I guess it’s only fair to give some love to Cody Eakin. The Winnipeg product went 85th overall to the Washington Capitals today. You have to think once the Caps get into salary cap hell with all their star forwards in a couple years, a cheap Eakin could be ready to come in. Ah, the new path to the NHL…

3. One thing I missed and am totally late on from last night: The Flames and New Jersey Devils flipping first round picks. Sutter compensation, perhaps? Has everyone already said that? Shoot. Whatever the reason, it’s not the first time the clubs have done a little pick swapping at NHL drafts.

In 2004, the Flames trade down in the first round from No. 19 to No. 24 and select some scrub named Kris Chucko with the pick. The Devils selection at No. 19? Travis Zajac. In 1990, the Flames moved up to No. 11 (from No. 20) to select Trevor Kidd. The Devils used the Flames former pick to take a flier on some guy named Martin Brodeur. The moral of this story: Swedish centre Jacob Josefson (New Jersey’s first round pick in 2009) is probably going to be the real deal and the Flames continue to burn themselves.

Listen people. I know you’re still grieving the loss of a pop star who was relevant 20 years ago, but I’m afraid there is more bad news. I’m going to the lake tonight, so there will be no action here until Tuesday. Maybe late Monday.

Bird Lake. Don’t know where that is, but I think it’s up past Lac du Bonnet. Should probably look at the map. Members of the Milner Ridge Sporadicators have been there since Friday, but here’s to the rain putting a damper on all fishing activity until I arrive. Hopefully, they won’t get too sick of playing cards. That would work out great for me. I hate fishing alone. Also working out fantastic is the opportunity to use the above photo. Given the amount of males in the tight quarters of an isolated family cabin, a Man Sandwich couldn’t be more apt.

Yes, ladies, I know what you’re saying. What a catch, indeed. As you can see, when he’s not defensively scheming for football or being yelled at to stop sweeping in curling, STP is a total ninja master with the graphite pole. This photo certainly doesn’t hurt his street credibility.

I can’t comment on the rape whistle around his neck, though.

Some thoughts on the first round of the 2009 NHL Entry Draft:

1. Right off the bat, the Long Island Islanders (as John Tavares puts it) had no choice but to select the sniper with the No. 1 pick. The club’s relationship with its fan base is fragile. The Stanley Cup banners of the 1980s are starting to yellow and they’re losing a generation of fans to better teams in the region. No choice but to roll the dice on the most recognizable name in the draft and hope the talent equals the hype.

As I wonder how many of these kids actually know who Bob Nystrom or Bryan Trottier are, I also wonder how long the honeymoon phase will last between Tavares and Nassau County. Two years? I guess it doesn’t matter right now. In their eyes, Tavares has already scored 50 goals this season. Good for jersey sales.

But no pressure, Johnny.

If I’m general manager Garth Snow, I’m calling up Doug Weight tonight and telling the veteran to teach this kid everything about what it takes to be a player in the NHL this summer. Hell, if I’m Snow, I might try to bring Bill Guerin back into the fold just to make sure there are enough teachers in class. Has anyone heard from Bob Bourne? What’s David Volek doing these days?

2. Pierre McGuire’s ridiculous *analysis* on the TSN website regarding the Tavares selection just cements the position that he is a true buffoon:

“Now you can have the offence to match up with teams like Washington and Pittsburgh. This is the right guy at the right time for a team that needs an identity.”

Let’s see: Crosby and Malkin equals Ovechkin and Semin and Backstrom equals Tavares…and who? Sean Bergenheim? Radek Martinek? Look at their line-up earlier this season. Some might argue that locking your defence into a 6-foot-6, Lidstrom-like stud named Victor Hedman might have been a better way to take on the Penguins and Capitals.

Identity? Maybe winning a few games would be a nice start.

3. The Twitter as a ‘breaking news’ source is getting ridiculous. TSN’s Darren Dreger reported that the Flyers and Ducks were having “serious discussions” about Chris Pronger. Minutes later Michael Russo of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune said “Sources: Pronger to Philly!!!”

Yeah. Interested parties already have their own source. It’s called Twitter. Even if it’s just conjecture and hearsay — the cornerstones of any good scoop these days — somewhere, someone is beating you to the punch. Guys need to just relax and use the tool as a complement, not as a news ticker. I’d rather hear about how Brian Burke’s tie is ugly, or how Gary Bettman is ducking for cover in Montreal. Getting it first no longer matters anymore, guys. Getting it right, the ability to cut through the *solid* speculation, is much more important to the knowledgeable hockey fan. Some of us still value objectivity and accuracy.

4. Above is what a hopeful fan base standing in the shadow of past glory looks like.

5. Enjoying the same wingspan as the player they got, the Pronger trade is a huge reach for the Flyers. They have decided they just don’t want to win now — they want to win yesterday. No one questions the need for Philly to upgrade on defence, and the toughness Pronger brings to the table will satisfy any and all blood lust the fans have, but two first rounders? What makes this deal even more curious is the fact Pronger will be an unrestricted free agent after the season. Uh-oh, orange.

6. As a Vancouver Canucks fan, though, I’m quite happy to see him in the Eastern Conference.

7. Florida finds some luck with the 14th pick. Many had defenceman Dmitri Kulikov as the second ranked D-man on their lists, and he was projected a Top 10 pick. He falls to the Panthers just as Jay Bouwmeester tapes the last of his boxes in his South Florida home. I like it when things work out like that.

8. Winnipeg’s Scott Glennie taken by the Dallas Stars. Number eight. He’s a quality prospect, but I wonder if he’s strong enough to compete in the NHL. Codey Burki had some decent numbers in Brandon and he’s still trying to make the jump. Glennie will be back with the Wheat Kings next year. His opportunity to enjoy Austin will have to wait.

9. Ignoring the need for a quality defensive prospect, the Canucks decide to take the best player on the board with American forward Jordan Schroeder. Comparisons to Paul Kariya. I guess that’s better than being compared to Cliff Ronning. Or Cliff from Singles. Or Schroeder from Peanuts.

10. Did I mention the Tavares pick was good for fan interest and jersey sales? I wonder how Pat Coe, the only Long Island fan I know, is celebrating the most important pick in franchise history since Scott Lachance? He’s probably off buying a jersey right now. Sometimes the bottom line is, in fact, the bottom line.

June 23, 2009
Mock draft time. Pierre McGuire on his No. 1 pick:

“It has to be John Tavares. The biggest reason why is 58 goals last year playing for both London and Oshawa. He is a complete player offensively and has great offensive fundamentals. His stick is on the ice at all times and he knows how to elevate his game at key times.”

—–

June 24, 2009
McGuire on which prospect he would build a team around:

“It would be Victor Hedman, just because I’ve very seldom seen a packaged player at 6-6 and 230 pounds at the age of 18 move so well. He brings a tremendous amount of passion to the game, he’s intelligent, understands the sport extremely well, has a lot of the same defensive characteristics that Nicklas Lidstrom has, skates like Jay Bouwmeester and has great offensive upside with a great first pass like Chris Pronger. I coached Pronger in Hartford in his first NHL season and see a lot of similarities there as well. Obviously, we didn’t build around him in Hartford, but he really hit that elite level quickly in St. Louis, Edmonton and Anaheim. He became a guy you could build around, just like Hedman.”

—–

To recap this beautiful professional analysis: PeeMac just compared Hedman to Lidstrom and Pronger, two players who are certain first ballot Hall of Famers, but his first overall pick in Friday’s NHL Entry Draft would be Tavares. That makes a lot of sense.

1. Bryan Murray, Ottawa
Barring any action on this in the next 24 hours, the Senators brain trust will more than likely spend all of their energy moving a certain two-time 50 goal sniper on draft day. Murray has a couple reasons to get the deal done in Montreal: One, the team doesn’t want to pay Dany Heatley the $4-million they’ll owe him come July. That’s a no-brainer. The second reason trade talk will heat up is due to the environment. The NHL Entry Draft sometimes brings out the worst in general managers. They get all lathered up in a frenzy about a potential player or a draft scenario, that they forget about common sense things like building from within and managing the salary cap. At least the ones looking to save their jobs with a ‘blockbuster deal’ do.

Senators GM Bryan Murray has to move Heatley this weekend. Grabbing a bona-fide player or two, plus a high draft pick would probably be more than enough to make this deal happen. The question is: Can he find a willing trade partner who want to take on a guy who has now cut and run out of TWO losing situations. Do we hear three?

2. Garth Snow, NYI
Given the late push back on the John Tavares PR front, it seems unlikely the New York Islanders will select anyone but the ‘greatest junior hockey player who has or ever will play the game.’ Oh, I’m sorry? Did that sound sarcastic? Didn’t mean it to be. I was just watching TSN. The reason the GM will make Tavares the pick has more to do with appeasing the Long Island market than proving Craig Button wrong. Do a little searching around the web. You’ll find Islanders fans are longing for another Mike Bossy to cheer for again and they think the young offensive phenom is the second coming of ‘The Boss.’ Glory days are sure to follow. Oh, there’s that sarcasm again. Someone needs to tell them that Mark Streit is no Denis Potvin and Kyle Okposo has a long way to go before looking like Bryan Trottier.

3. Brian Burke, Toronto
It will interesting to see if the Toronto Maple Leafs GM can move up from his No. 7 spot into the Top 5. Or the Top 3. Or into the No. 1 spot. It will also be interesting to see if the man who invented the general manager position can do anything noteworthy to improve his team on draft day. Prediction: If the Maple Leafs don’t make some kind of deal in Montreal this weekend, then expect them to be very active when free agency opens up in less than a week.

What choice does Burke have? After a free pass from the Toronto media in his first year, the pressure switch has been flipped on. He’s going into Year Two at the helm and he needs to show the fan base that things are heading in the right direction. A Stanley Cup isn’t the expectation, but you have to think anything less than a post season berth would be unacceptable. To his credit, Burke has been very smart to this point, adding a few collegiate bargaining chips to the organization’s depth but he needs to shuffle those signings into something bigger to get people jacked up again. This may be going out on a limb here, but Matt Stajan is just not the answer on the No. 1 line.

4. Bob Gainey, Montreal
Tampa Bay says nothing is happening. Bob McKenzie is quiet. Not much is cooking on the Vincent Lecavalier front — or it seems. The facts are this for the Canadiens GM: Half his team is up for unrestricted free agency and more than likely, half of those won’t be back. Two seasons ago, the Habs were considered a model franchise, and an up and comer for the Stanley Cup. Now, they have a struggling goaltender who likes the nightlife (Mr. Price), an uninspired head coaching hire in Jacques Martin, and question marks all over their roster. Gainey needs to make a big splash with a trade for the Lightning captain. Like that splash from Deep Impact. That big.

5. Pierre McGuire, scout extraordinaire
Originally the title of this post was going to be ‘Five People to Watch at the NHL Draft’ but I had to change it after realising that the Minnesota Wild GM McGuire would be a reason not to watch the broadcast tomorrow night. Does anyone else find it even more difficult to listen to his slurping of players now that he’s officially thrown his resume into a few different general manager positions this summer? His *objectivity* is in question and he’s certainly not about to offend anyone with a harsh critique these days. Except the viewer, of course. Get ready (insert team name here) fans, you just got a talented, big body player who has a high level of compete. Yes, get ready to hear that or a phrase similar to that all night long.

After ignoring a 25 year layoff, with three of those spent begging to play, I have decided to make a triumphant return to the beautiful game. In a stunning act of charity, the Crescentwood Saturday Soccer Club has done the unthinkable and allowed me to play with them in the Winnipeg Soccer Division this summer. If I can score one goal this year, I’d be pretty happy. Judging from my inconsistent play, my teammates would be equally ecstatic, too. Here’s the weekly update:

It was a slow start, with one victory though the first four games. But as the summer has warmed, so to has the CSSC (3-1-2), rattling off a couple wins and currently riding a five-game unbeaten streak. While things as a whole continue to slowly come together for the group, yours truly continues to fight the limited experience and lack of talent which has dogged him since the brilliant idea of playing soccer came into his head. An ankle injury has kept me off the pitch for the last three games, but the combination of time off and a new brace brought me back to the forward line last night. The big red machine overcame some very erratic action early on and settled into some less erratic play in the second half for a 2-0 win over some club called the BFR A.C.

Key stat of the game: They had 12 total players, we had eight spares.

Sadly, there is nothing to report regarding the individual statistics. Just like the broads and prosperity, that round thing we’re supposed to kick into the goal (I think it’s called a ball — I’m not really sure as I haven’t been introduced yet) doesn’t seem to be too interested in any of my advances. Sure, a couple touches here and there…but no real intimate time spent near the box. And don’t even get me started on my terrible positioning.

Talking about soccer here, guys.

Next game: Tuesday vs. London Dry F.C. (2-4-0)

UPDATE: If the U.S. can beat Spain, then I can certainly score a goal. Anything is possible now.

Let’s go across the pond for Hump Day, which from all accounts is of the ‘Extra Large’ variety today. Not that I’m complaining. If the name Anna Semenovich rings a bell, congratulations. You’re either Russian or Scott Russell. Yes, the lovely lady pictured above was once a world-class figure skater, having done most of her competing a decade ago. Now 29-years-old and proof of a what a simple fact-finding mission to the local plastic surgeon can do for your self-esteem, Anna is now a pop singer/actress.

Of course she is.

Probably testing the limits of the tasteful barrier with more pics of this Russian hooker beauty, but what the hell? There’s no hockey on, it’s 30 above outside and the humidity is making us all a little crazy these days, so I’m going to throw another log on the fire and see what happens. Here’s a warning: These two are probably cool for the office environment, but these two will only be acceptable if you work at Club Fantasy or in the tug room at the back of Dominion News.