the 4th star

Even though she sometimes makes me want to rip my radio out of the dashboard and chuck it onto the street, I occasionally find Lori Langcaster funny. I don’t know why. She’s like a teenage girl, giggling through the sexual innuendo and awkward moments that only 18 weather and traffic updates can bring in an hour. Though some don’t like her on the drive slot, she does bring a certain energy to an otherwise sleepy line-up of jocks at CJOB.

Today, was one of those days. Langcastor had Manitoba Moose heart throb Nolan Baumgartner (whose rugged good looks make him the only Moose player the casual female fan can identify in the line-up) on for a spell, pumping the tires on the Game 1 match-up with the Toronto Marlies at MTS Centre Wednesday night. One gets the sense a game wasn’t the only thing the host wanted to be pumping…

LL: Are you nervous?

NB: No not at all.

LL: I mean about talking to me, not about the hockey stuff. (laughter)

NB: That’s what I meant.

LL: You heard, probably.

(ed: What does that mean? I have no idea but I like it.)

Langcaster and Baumgartner then go on to talk about the difference between being nervous and excited as the playoffs approach. Pretty standard stuff. Great season brings pressure, butterflies in the stomach, that kind of thing. Once the hockey talk was done, Langcastor decided to try on some pillow talk. The art of flirting coontinues…

LL: So when you go to bed tonight will you be able to sleep?

NB: Yeah…I think I’ll be able to sleep.

LL: Do you have any pre-playoff ritual? Like…do you grow a beard or like…you know, wear the same socks for like two weeks or any of those kind of things?

NB: No, I got pretty good hygiene. I tend to change my underwear everyday.

(silence on the other end, LL no doubt paused by a mental image)

Isn’t Ryan Getzlaf like 23-years-old? Look at that attic! Break out the Propecia, dude.

Of all the teams in all the gin joints in all the world, the last club the San Jose Sharks probably wanted to see in the first round is the Anaheim Ducks. The top team in the NHL (the Sharks, based on points) takes on a No. 8 seed who just happens to be in the same division and in the same state. Plus, the Ducks have a Stanley Cup banner to draw experience from. All the Sharks have for experience is disappointment and a lifetime of unmet post season expectations. Call it the Kelly Hrudey curse.

Seriously. What have the New York Islanders, Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks won since he tended net for each of those teams? Zippo. Now the CBC is expecting massive layoffs. This guy must be stopped!

Anyway, I don’t like the Ducks to go very far. They are not the same team they were when they won the cup a few years ago. The depth isn’t there anymore, they take too many penalties, the goaltending is questionable, and Ryan Getzlaf’s bald spot is worse than Randy Carlyle’s vague responses to reporters. The Sharks confuse me, though. Regular season heroes are not to be trusted. Joe Thornton needs to reach at least the final to put something tangible on his resume. He won’t do that, but he will get to the second round. Sharks in seven brutal* games.

And for those looking for a late night drinking game the next two weeks, why not print this off and watch the drunkenness unfold?

*Brutal as in ‘vicious’ and ‘savage,’ not brutal as in the ‘Los Angeles Kings.’

Here are a few things about the heated rivalry between the Montreal Canadiens and the Boston Bruins, a match-up that will once again fire up Thursday night in Beantown:

- Dating back to 1929, the teams have met 31 times in the post season. Montreal holds a huge edge in wins, advancing (or winning the Stanley Cup) 24 times.

- The Habs have won the last three meetings. Boston won the four before that.

- Of the last six, four of the series have gone to the full seven games, with another going six.

You don’t need me to tell you how the teams match-up against each other this time around. You can get that information everywhere. Montreal is small and fast, and without its best defenceman (Andrei Markov). Boston is big and tough and can play it anyway the opposition wants to. Unless Montreal’s power play is lights-out (meaning they score every chance) it’s got to be the Bruins here, let’s say in seven games. Look to the past for future inspiration. I don’t know how that applies here. Just thought it sounded good.

I can’t speak for others who follow the game, but over here at the 4th Star the anticipation is actually quite high for the Washington-New York series. My gut is telling me that this has upset written all over it, what with the expectations sky-high for Alex Ovechkin and his young Capitals team. The Rangers, on the other hand, hand basically nothing to play for and a best case scenario for their ownership group would be the possibility of a Game 6 gate at Madison Square Garden.

There are a few factors working for the Rangers, though.

Henrik Lundqvist can win a game by himself on occasion and say what you will about the guy, but Sean Avery won the series against the New Jersey Devils last spring. He won it, pure and simple. He got in the head of Marty Brodeur early, forcing the NHL to put in a new rule as the series went on. Here’s what I’m thinking: If Brodeur, the most accomplished goaltender in the history of the game, was rattled by Avery, what chance does Jose Theodore have?

And speaking of antics, what kind of shenanigans does Ovechkin have in store for this series? Will Avery go after him instead? And if he does, will Alex the Great fall into the trap? How Rangers coach John Tortorella uses Avery in this series will be a big factor. Maybe even the determining factor. Rangers in six games. Wait…let me think about it again. Yeah. Rangers in six.