Database is the New Black
The title of the thread on the real Winnipeg Blue Bombers message board is ‘The Data Base,’ started by a chap named snowboy. Let’s take a look at what he has to say:
The next peep to mention the data base should immediately be put in their playpen and not be allowed to re-emerge until the snow melts. Seriously….it is a well worn joke that is no longer funny. It’s annoying. If you like repetition, watch commercials on TV all day, but stay the h–l off this board.
This is in reference to head coach Mike Kelly’s famous ‘database’ of players that he’s alluded to several times in his brief command of the good ship Blue Bomber. It seems commentators have taken to referencing the ‘database’ as much as Kelly has when opining on how the football club will fare this coming season. Of course, how plentiful this ‘database’ might be is up for debate these days, as Coach K is having a devil of a time finding a guy who can kick a football off a tee AND bang it off the top of his foot into a strong north Winnipeg wind. The ‘database’ doesn’t seem to recognize kicker/punter as an acceptable format.
Troy Westwood? What a great idea. Per Penton:
As for former Bomber kicker Troy Westwood, who turned 42 last weekend, Kelly said he would be used only in an emergency. “And I’ll be the one that will have the paddles on his chest when we call,” Kelly cracked.
The Data Base will forever define this season. When the Bombers stumble out of the gate, painting losses as meaningful games in the development of a rebuilding team, fans and media alike will wonder aloud where this ‘database’ is and why the ‘database’ hasn’t delivered players who can play better than the ones currently on the field.
Think not winning a Grey Cup in 18 years is a joke? Do you cringe when you hear the name Jeff Reinbold? Don’t worry, there’s a new punchline in town, and even the Bombers message board is embracing it. Play us out, mbsoftball:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Data Base.
Data Base who?
Mike Kelly’s database.
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