Tom Landry Doesn’t Like to Wait

With the end of the football season comes the inevitable hope for the next campaign. And what better way to enjoy this endless optimism (which lasts until your club gets the doors blown off in Week 2) then to look at the Internet bookie, the one where a lot of bloodshed has taken place over the past five months, and set the expectation right. I know what you’re thinking: How is it possible to bet on the NFL this season? Well, it’s not possible. The season is over. Your team didn’t win it all. My team barely won more than it lost. Let’s look ahead to the next.
A quick glance at the money pit that is my friendly neighbourhood wagering web site shows the out-of-the-gate odds on who the next Super Bowl champion will be. Coming in as the favourite are the Indianapolis Colts. At +700, the Super Bowl losers will give you $700 for a $100 bet. The Chargers are next (+800), followed by the Saints and Patriots (both at +1000). Those aren’t bad but certainly we can do better, no?
Pittsburgh comes in at +1200. That’s looks pretty good. Another quality wager is Green Bay, who could earn you $1,600 on a C-note chance. Those looking for a little more gamble to their gambling should examine the Titans and Falcons (both at +3300). The Broncos, Texans, and Panthers take it up a notch at +4000, while the two Lions fans I know should seriously have their heads checked if they’re going to waste money on the +15000 line.
Bringing up the absurd are the Rams and Chiefs (+20000). That’s right. Just a $10 bet – the amount of change you have in the ashtray of your truck – will land you more than enough money ($2,000) to have that aforementioned melon examined by a professional.
As for this cowboy, I like the Giants at +2000, suits on the sidelines, and defence.
Professional Style and Editing

NEW ORLEANS – FEBRUARY 07: Exuberant New Orleans Saints fans celebrating their first ever Super Bowl victory as the crowds spill out on to the streets in front of the Mid-City neighborhood bar Red Door on February 7, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Skip Bolen/Getty Images)
Hmmm…let’s give this a couple seconds, just to see where it goes.
NEW ORLEANS – FEBRUARY 07: ***EDITORS NOTE THIS IMAGE CONTAINS PARTIAL NUDITY *** Exuberant New Orleans Saints fans celebrating their first ever Super Bowl victory as the crowds spill out on to the streets in front of the Mid-City neighborhood bar Red Door on February 7, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Skip Bolen/Getty Images)

Press Your Luck: Goodbye Football

Wake up! The annual National Football League post season hibernation ends with a game that no one really cares about anymore. Can the NFL suck any more life — not to mention momentum — from the playoffs? Unless you are in South Beach, or happen to have your team in the Super Bowl, the game just does not resonate like it used to. Blame the Internet.
That’s right. The same vehicle which gives analysis up the wazoo is also responsible for turning me off of the biggest game of the season. It’s information overload; pundits, columnists, writers, and hacks all trying to find a new angle while all essentially saying the same thing. It bothers me that I don’t care, but all of it just melts together in a repetitive pool of stats I don’t really need. Curtis Painter can’t stand green grapes, but he loves red ones? Fascinating. Too bad that won’t apply to the outcome of the game. The overkill has made its way all the way up to Winnipeg — trying to find a reason to cheer is next to impossible, as neither team is the Giants or an opponent of Brett Favre.
My point is that the world is no longer in love with the game. We’re in love with the idea of the game. On the subject of the heart, you’ll love these wagers. Or at least the idea of them.
Coin Toss
Saints -110
A coin was flipped to make this pick.
Peyton Manning
Under 310.5 yards passing
I expect the Saints secondary to really focus on Manning. I expect them to keep the extra guy back there to avoid the big play. I also expect the Saints to mix in a few tackles (something they didn’t do against the Vikings), making this pick totally worthless.
Saints versus Colts
Total points over 56.5
Ignoring that last pick, this one could turn into an arena football game by halftime. It will interesting to see how the Colts deal with the Saints passing attack. Mark Sanchez is no Drew Brees. Indy may have to send some heat to keep Brees from getting comfortable, which is what the Saints want. People question the game line (Colts 4.5 points favourites). The total points number is equally confusing.

Vikings? Naw, I’ve always loved the Saints.
Man Sandwich

Gimmie a break. It was Reggie Bush or this. Who’s the girl on the Audi?
4th Star Keyboard Party: Rolling the Dyce

With the new job, the commitment to daily blogging has been put on the back-burner. Breaking news, I know. That’s just the way it has to be, folks. I can’t be in front of a computer for 20 hours a day. Deal with it. But with that hole in all of our lives comes opportunity. Consider this a submission call. Here’s your chance to provide an opinion (or “take” as the cool broadcast kids say) on whatever you want. You write it up and send it over to the email over on the side menu bar, and I’ll throw it on here. If you want your name on it, say so. If you want your nickname on it, tell me what it is. If you want me to make up a name, well…I can do that, too.
So get typing, people. Tell us why the Leafs are going to win the Stanley Cup. Tell us why the Jets will never return. Make an argument. Give an opinion. If it’s half-decent it will be posted. Promise. The only rules are no swearing, no name calling, and no personal attacks — unless he or she deserves it. For an example of this exception, see Pierre McGuire. Our first entry comes from NCMF, a regular commentator who is optimistic about the Winnipeg Blue Bombers have done with their coaching situation. I couldn’t smell any alcohol on the email, so it appears the positivity is legit. Well done. Enjoy!
Much is being made of the hiring of Paul LaPolice as the Winnipeg Blue Bombers new Head Coach. And it should be. The events of the past two weeks, including the hiring of Joe Mack as the GM and LaPolice as Head Coach, will shape the Blue Bomber organization for the next generation. What remains to be determined is just how long that generation will be – will it be two years or ten?
Much of the ado centres upon the relative merits of LaPolice versus perennial head-coaching bridesmaid Greg Marshall, current defensive co-ordinator of the Hamilton Ti-Cats. There is much in common between the two. Both have coached here, LaPolice in 2002-03 and Marshall in 2006-08. Both have been in the CFL for the past decade (LaPolice was out of the CFL in 2006). Both have won the Grey Cup, LaPolice in 2007 with Saskatchewan and Marshall in 2003 with Edmonton. Both have a similar coaching “record” since 2000, with LaPolice teams amassing an 85-74-3 record (.524 win percentage) and Marshall-coached teams having a 97-82 mark (.542). So, based on experience and success, they are essentially a “pick’em” proposition.
But LaPolice is the smart choice. And here’s why: the fundamental difference between the two is that one is an offensive coach (LaPolice was formerly the offensive co-ordinator in Saskatchewan) and the other is a defensive coach (as noted above, Marshall is a defensive co-ordinator). This is an important consideration for the Big Blue in several ways.
First, hiring LaPolice addresses the gaping hole on the offensive staff. And this just in – the CFL is an offense-driven league. You need knowledge, experience and creativity on that side of the ball in order to win in the CFL. Given his track record, LaPolice is likely a better than average fit under these criteria (and more experienced than the otherwise coveted Scott Milanovich of the Montreal Alouettes). LaPolice would bring in his offensive system (did we have one of those last year?) and likely hire an acolyte to work closely with him on a week-to-week basis in game planning and preparation. More on this below. I am discounting the possibility that LaPolice would be his own offensive co-ordinator – another Mike Kelly debacle that came unraveled half way through last season.
Second, bringing in Marshall not only doesn’t address the offensive issue, it would possibly create problems on the defensive side of the ball. One of the few positive stories from the 2009 Bombers, a story that is often under-emphasized, was the play of the defence (it is easy not to see the pretty girl at the bus stop when there is a massive, fiery, ten car pile-up in the intersection – aka Mike Kelly). By all accounts, Bomber defensive coordinator Mark Nelson did a credible job with that group – and to my knowledge is still under contract. Marshall would likely (and naturally) bring in his own defensive systems, philosophies and biases, and would want to see them reflected in the 2010 Bomber defence. While it is possible that Marshall and Nelson would mesh nicely, it is also possible that they would not, which might precipitate Nelson to leave either prior to the season or after a disappointing campaign. The Bombers have too many weaknesses to risk undermining one of their few strengths.
So, the primary difference between the two is that choosing LaPolice addresses a weakness (offence) while not disturbing a relative strength (defence), and choosing Marshall does nothing to address the weakness (offence), and threatens to undermine the one strength the Bombers have (defence). To me, that’s a big, big difference.
An interesting note is that LaPolice and current Bomber coach Bob Dyce are good friends, and have been since LaPolice was here in 2002 and 2003. It was LaPolice that lobbied for Dyce to be brought onto staff. Since then, Dyce has been the positional coach for both the running backs and receivers, CFL draft co-ordinator (where he was instrumental drafting talent such as John Ryan, Brendan LaBatte and Dominic Picard), and worked as the de facto quarterback coach while Kit Cartwright was the offensive co-ordinator. Given their close relationship, as well as Dyce’s experience across several offensive positions, suggests this is a partnership that could work for the Bombers.
Did I just say that? Did I just say “something that would work” and “Bombers” in the same sentence?? The 4th Star might never forgive me for such overt cock-eyed optimism.
Click here for a good article on the new Bomber bench boss.
Mahoney Has a Few Questions

What happened to my career?
1. Do the Winnipeg Blue Bombers have the best-named front office in the CFL?
Not only do they employ some top handles in the league currently, they might have the greatest names of all time. Joe Mack. Paul LaPolice. Ken Moll. These are names that copy editors can really sink their teeth into. I’ve already gone through the Mack possibilities (which are endless, by the way), but just think of the creativity one can use with a coach named LaPolice. Good luck to the Bombers writers as they fight the urge to work in some Sting lyrics. Here’s a sample headline: LaPolice Sends an SOS to the League. Hmmm…that one might come true. And Ken Moll is a perfect complement for Joe Mack. Mack and Moll. Copyright!
2. How bad is Greg Marshall in these interviews?
Three times the guy has been passed over for the coaching gig — and it’s not like Tom Landry or Tony Dungy are beating him out for these jobs, either. Doug Berry, Mike Kelly, and now LaPolice. Time will tell what kind of hire LaPo is, but if you look at the other two guys, you have to wonder how Marshall is talking himself out of these jobs. This guy should just take the Toronto Argos gig (if offered) and shove it up the Bombers backside when the clubs meet this summer. But if the Argos hire someone ahead of Marshall in the next week, then an inquiry should be held. Or a mercy killing. No one should be put through this.
3. Will the Outlaw be the next offensive co-ordinator in Winnipeg?
There is certainly some weight to this. According to Bomber lore, LaPolice was the guy who wanted Dyce to join the Bombers coaching staff when he was the OC many moons ago. The two are friends and obviously share some of the same offensive beliefs. Finally, Dyce went out of his way to correct a report that he was in the Marshall camp during the hiring process — suggesting he is a LaPolice guy, as well. The Outlaw as OC would be a nice story, however…
4. Without a quarterback, will LaPolice get a fair shake?
You can only blame Mike Kelly for so long regarding the most important position on the field. How long, you ask? Considering that LaPolice was run out of town seven years ago for a struggling offence, you have to imagine the patience in this town sits around three or four weeks. If the attack sputters, fans will tie LaPolice to the tracks before lighting the line on fire and parking the train on top of him. And then blowing the whole thing up. Again.
Jason Priestley Did Not Make the Cut

Last week, as I was questioning the breakfast masses on who should light the Olympic cauldron in Vancouver, the Globe and Mail wondered the same thing. I didn’t even see the paper, and I’ve already read it. That’s how dialed in I am. Anyway, the Globe piece suggested that Wayne Gretzky should light the final flame — a choice that would be great if it wasn’t so Goddamn predicable or obvious.
Gretzky, of course, is in everyone’s mix to carry the honour. The guy is an institution in Canada and his selection would be hard to argue. There are other front-burner candidates, though. Joining The Great One in the five-ring hopper include Betty Fox, mother of Terry; wheelchair man in motion Rick Hansen; and former Olympian and current senator Nancy Greene Raine. Both Hansen and Raine will carry the torch prior to Vancouver, so they’re probably out. That leaves two — Gretzky and Fox.
Can we do better? You bet we can.
Elizabeth Manley
No idea what she is doing now, but she seems like a good choice. Her silver medal at the Winter Games in Calgary was Canada’s only bright spot in 1988, and bringing her into the opening spotlight in Vancouver would tie the two events together. Plus, everyone loves figure skating. More plus: Everyone under the age of 25 will wonder who the hell she is. Kids are so dumb.
Bryan Adams
Just before raising the torch to ignite the big flame, Adams tears off the Olympic garb and reveals his trademark leather jacket. Cuts Like a Knife comes on. He raises the flame. The whole stadium chants Na-na-naaa Na-na-naaa-na-na. Na naa. Suddenly, I’m back in Bird’s Hill Park and it feels so right. Mike Reno would also work quite well here.
Former Canucks great Trevor Linden
He was the only Canadian to score on Hasek in Nagano, and don’t you forget it!
Steve Nash
Don’t laugh. He’s from Vancouver. He’s a former Olympian. And the people at NBC will be thrilled with the selection of a name that everyone in the United States knows. If it is the point guard, how does he light the cauldron? Does he throw a no-look flaming basketball into the bowl, or does the futbol-mad Nash bend a burning soccer ball in with his right foot? If it’s the soccer option, millions of US viewers will go to bed wondering what they just saw. Doesn’t he play for the Suns?
Michael J. Fox and Pamela Anderson
Vancouver natives. Famous people. Pam would need to get on Mike’s shoulders to light the thing.
Paul Kariya
Like Nash, he’s a VanCity homeboy. He’s also a two-time Olympian, having won a gold and silver medal in his two trips with the national men’s hockey entry. The one concern with this choice, however, is injury. The possibility of this selection is day-to-day.
Local Celebrity NFL Jeopardy #11

Usually I just pick teams out of a hat (you didn’t know‚ sorry). This time I’ve decided to poll the vast Manitoba celebrity community. OK. It’s not that vast. But lucky for us there are only 11 National Football League post season games to cover. Shouldn’t be that hard to find 11 people, should it? We will see, I guess. Please note: On the off-chance these people don’t reply to the pick requests that I probably won’t get around to sending them in the first place, these selections (or responses) may not actually be from them. Super Bowl. The biggest game of the year deserves the biggest name in Manitoba. Mr. Non-Sensical All Caps Twitter. Burton, the floor of the Green Brier Inn is yours…
New Orleans Saints at Indianapolis Colts
Sunday, 5:30 p.m. on CBS
Previous meeting: None
The spread: Saints +4.5
The money line: Saints +175
The over/under: 56.5 points
@RANDYCBACHMAN WHOA THIS IS TRUTH…YOU NEVER KNOW OF THOSE THINGS THAT HURT UNTIL THINGS HIT THE BREAKING POINT. WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT HERE? GOOD QUESTIONS ALL OVER…WHY WOULD SOMEONE TAKE SOMEONE ELSE’S VLT WHEN THE CHAIR IS CLEARLY TILTED OVER INDICATING I’M JUST SMOKING OR IN THE JOHN…DRIVES ME UNDONE, IT DOES…THAT’S WHY I HAD TO GO OVER TO TUBBY’S TO CASH THAT ROYALTY CHEQUE FOR USA WOMAN. 900 BUCKS SUCKA!!!1!!1! HOW YOU LIKE MY THEATRE NOW!!!! SO WHO DO I LIKE MORE THAN THE FAT COW WHO STOLE MY MACHINE AT THE GBI YOU ASK…THE MEANING OF LIFE IS BORN TO RUN…OH HOW I MISS THE BOSS…GO SASKATOON THAT’S THE ONE…ONE GREAT HELL OF A CITY…S & P WINGS ARE UP YEAH YEAH!!!!!!1!!!11!!
Ed note — Take a look at Burton’s Twitter account again. Over 2,000 souls are wired into his thoughts, but he only follows five people. They are Jim Fusilli, Ernie Cefalu, something called Junior Blue Cat, Lil Sarafian, and Lorne Saifer. What a weird dude.
Wild Card #1
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Divisional #5
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Big Drill Car

The year was 1992, the day — January 2nd. Otherwise known as the first day of the rest of Bob Cole’s and Don Cherry’s life. The Toronto Maple Leafs and Calgary Flames, two teams looking for a shake-up, decide to deal. Toronto wins the trade hands-down, as they go on to years of almost being good enough to win. The Flames fall back into mediocrity, but no one really notices. As a spin-off of the blockbuster, though, Canadian hockey fans were subjected to almost a full decade of Cole and Cherry over-selling the skill set of a smallish centre with jet-black hair. It was the end of hockey.
To the Maple Leafs:
Doug Gilmour, Jamie Macoun, Ric Nattress, Kent Manderville and Rick Wamsley
To the Flames:
Gary Leeman, Alexander Godynyuk, Jeff Reese, Michel Petit and Craig Berube
This morning, the same two clubs — both reeling this current NHL season — decide to pull off another trade of significance. The TSN Twitter was buzzing this morning, as the insiders put together the pieces of the *blockbuster* deal. This trade wasn’t the same 10-player monstrosity that occurred 18 years ago, but it still has some weight to it.
To the Maple Leafs:
Dion Phaneuf, Fredrik Sjostrom, and Keith Aulie
To the Flames:
Matt Stajan, Niklas Hagman, Jamal Mayers and Ian White
On the surface, it looks like the Flames have won this deal running away. That’s right, you heard me. The Flames. Hagman and Stajan aren’t stars, but they give the Flames some much-needed depth up front. And Ian White — the Steinbach-native who was arguably the Leafs best player this season — will be a solid replacement for Phaneuf’s turnover style and poor defensive positioning. Flames fans won’t even notice the difference.
On the flip side, both Flames GM Darryl Sutter and Toronto GM Brian Burke are clearly in desperation mode, despite what some are saying about the Leafs’ boss. Duhatschek undermines his own take by trying to put some lipstick on the pig that is Phaneuf’s game::
As anyone who’s watched him play this year realizes, Phaneuf remains a decided work in progress. Prone to the same mistakes that he made in his rookie year, when he was a Calder Trophy candidate, Phaneuf’s offence has fallen off considerably this year after scoring 20, 17 and 17 goals in each of his first three seasons. A succession of coaches has tried to play Phaneuf with a succession of partners, with limited success. Roman Hamrlik, now with Montreal, was probably the best fit. Still, the operative point about Phaneuf is that he was a Calder trophy contender; was a Norris trophy contender and theoretically could be that again. Who, among the players coming Calgary’s way, fits that bill?
Ah yes, the allure of promise. I’d agree with ED if Phaneuf’s play hadn’t noticeably declined since his rookie year. He’s no longer a trusted player — if he was do you think the Flames would move him? Let’s call it what it is: He played his way off the Calgary roster. Cornerstones of franchises — even potential ones — do not do that.
UPDATE: There’s more! From TSN…
To the Maple Leafs:
Jean-Sebastien Giguere
To the Anaheim Ducks:
Jason Blake and Vesa Toskala